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Gender in communication. Gender Features of Intercultural Communication

V. W. Matsuta

GENDER FEATURES OF INTERNAL COMMUNICATION OF A PERSON

Based on the results of the study of internal communication, the author describes its content, structural and typological features. Data on the gender characteristics of internal communication are given. Some gender and gender differences and similarities in the parameters of certain internal communication are considered. The social determination of internal communication is emphasized.

Keywords: internal communication; structure and content of internal communication; gender features.

Internal communication is understood as communication, closed on one subject, acting simultaneously as a communicator and recipient. The need to study it is due to the ongoing transformation of the inner world under the influence of social processes. A person faces the tasks of self-determination and self-realization, for the implementation of which it is necessary to use and develop internal communication resources. In addition, a person has a social origin, therefore, the richer the structure of a person’s life, the wider the circle of his social affiliations, the more complex and differentiated is the content of his inner world. In personality, various social roles and “images of the Self” are combined and may conflict, which, in turn, can lead to personal problems. In this regard, the study of internal communication as a process in which self-identification and self-determination (including gender ones) are carried out seems relevant.

The theoretical and empirical study of internal communication is also important because this phenomenon belongs to a little-studied area of psychology. In most works, internal communication is not considered as an independent phenomenon, it is only mentioned that such a phenomenon exists, moreover, in connection with any other phenomena (consciousness, reflection, internal dialogue), but again without any description of the nature and structure of internal communication. communications.

In order to study the content, structure and typology of internal communication, we conducted an empirical study, theoretical basis which served as the concept of the communicative world of V.I. Kabrin, theories of social interactionism J.G. Mida, T. Shibutani, G. Blumer, K. Jaspers' concept of existential communication, K.R. Rogers, the theory of self-actualization A.G. Maslow.

To study the gender characteristics of internal communication, we relied on the theory of the sociocultural approach to gender and gender differences, which implies the social determination of gender characteristics and differences between the sexes. Thus, at the first stage of the study, the content, structural and typological features of internal communication were studied. At the next stage, these features were studied in relation to the gender and gender of the respondents.

The study involved 325 people: 171 women and 154 men - representatives of social

al professions. The research methods were the method of modeling the communicative world, the method of personal differential, the self-actualization test, the method of diagnosing communicative and characterological features of the personality, the method of determining the type of gender identity and the projective graphic test "Self-portrait". The materials of the study were reflective self-reports and spontaneous diary entries of the respondents.

For quantitative analysis data were used: content analysis, cluster analysis according to the Euclidean metric and Ward's method, correlation analysis according to the Pearson criterion, analysis of variance according to the Fisher criterion, as well as analysis of the significance of differences according to the Student's t-test. For qualitative analysis, the method of content analysis and the method of interpreting projective tests were used. Processing and analysis of research materials was carried out using the computer statistical program "Statistical) 6.O. The data of statistical and qualitative types of analysis are consistent with each other, so the results of the study are presented in a comprehensive manner.

As the results of theoretical and empirical analysis show, internal communication is an internalized form of social relations. Therefore, its structure is similar to the structure of interpersonal communication. The composition of the communicative situation of internal communication includes: the subject, topics that reflect the intentions and goals of the subject, partners, forms, means and functions. In general, the structure of internal communication was determined on the basis of content analysis data.

The subject of communication is the generator of the communicative situation. The content of internal communication are topics that express the main values and meanings of the subject, his interests and problems in various spheres of life. In the thematic content of internal communication, the intentions and goals of the subject are expressed.

Internal communication is initiated when a person has a specific need. The need-motivational side of internal communication is reflected in the intention. It determines what, why and why a person wants to tell himself, although he himself may not be aware of it. A person, entering into internal communication, as a rule, does not set himself a specific goal and achieve a result, in contrast to external, interpersonal communication, where he outlines a program of action and expects to get a certain result. However, in some situations, internal communication is recognized by a person. For example, when it comes to deciding

specific problem, relieve stress. In this sense, intention can be used to judge the needs, motives, and functions of internal communication. For example, from the need to provide self-support in difficult situations, such a function of internal communication as therapeutic follows. Since the functions of internal communication depend on the needs of the subject, it can solve a wide variety of tasks.

The main intentions can be divided into four groups. The first group consists of compensation, self-isolation, avoidance, and emotive-expressive intention. The second group includes social perception, social differentiation, elimination of cognitive dissonance and autopsychotherapy. The third group of intentions is communicative anticipation, social reflection, moral regulation, epistemological and intellectual-analytical intentions. The fourth group includes introspection, self-determination, personal growth, understanding, the formation of a worldview, creative, spiritual and existential intentions.

Intentions are divided into groups, since each group corresponds to certain types and types of internal communication. The types of internal communication are: incentive, informative, constructive and emotional. The types of internal communication include: impulsive, normative, role-playing and spiritual. Compensation, self-isolation, avoidance, and emotive-expressive intention refer to motivating and impulsive internal communication. Social perception, social differentiation, elimination of cognitive dissonance and autopsychotherapy - towards informative and normative. Communicative anticipation, social reflection, moral regulation, epistemological and intellectual-analytical intentions are related to constructive and role-playing internal communication. Self-analysis, self-determination, personal growth, understanding, the formation of a worldview, creative, mental-spiritual and existential intentions - to the emotional and spiritual.

Incentive internal communication is self-motivation, self-influence. Informative involves self-information, the expression of ideas without creating a specific program of action. Constructive consists in solving any problems and tasks, building plans and programs. Emotional involves the expression of any feelings for any reason and the desire of a person to understand their own emotional experiences. Moreover, types of internal communication can also be phases of this process. Then its beginning may be an impulse that unfolds further into a more reflective internal communication.

Impulsive internal communication is the uncontrolled transmission or exchange of aspirations, plans, thoughts and feelings. Normative consists in the desire of a person and "inside" to behave in accordance with generally accepted norms and rules. Role play speaks of a person's desire to act in accordance with his own social role, its rights, obligations and expectations. There is also a

spiritual internal communication in which a person tries to maintain and develop spiritual values. Types of internal communication can be its levels. Then it unfolds as a transition from the impulsive to a more developed spiritual level.

An important parameter of internal communication is a communication partner. Communication partners play a significant role in any communication model. A partner is a person who is involved in the semantic space of another subject. Partners can be images of real people (the most significant for the subject) and fictitious interlocutors. Following the tradition of interactionism, it should be noted that internal communication is carried out in the mind of a person as a process of communication and interaction of the "elements" of his "I", the result of which is the formation of an integrated personality. Fictional interlocutors, being "elements" of the subject's personality, express his own ideas and meanings. Internal communication is possible because partners have different meanings - psychologically they are not identical. It is the difference in meanings that can lead to the emergence of intra-personal conflicts. The result of internal communication can be either a complete distinction between semantic positions and, as a result, a “conflict” of the interlocutors, or the appearance of a resulting meaning. Thus, a change in the personality itself can serve as a constructive outcome of internal communication.

The presence of a particular partner indicates a form of internal communication. For example, the image of a real person or a fictional interlocutor indicate a dialogic form. A polylogue is also possible, implying interaction more interlocutors. Dialogue and polylogue are of the greatest importance for the development of the personality, since their result is often the emergence of a new meaning.

Since internal communication is the result of the transition of interpersonal communication to the intrapersonal plane, it plays an important role in the formation of the inner world. A personality can be considered as a subject of the "external" interpersonal communicative world and the "inner" spiritual communicative world, in which it maintains and develops the communicative and mental structures of its "I".

Since internal communication includes both psychological and physiological processes, its subjects use both verbal (speech) and non-verbal (facial expressions, gestures) means of communication. As the results of an empirical study show, internal communication is most clearly manifested in facial expressions, especially in women and feminine respondents (M&t = 0.40 and MtaS = 0.01, p = 0.03; Mg = 2.69 and Mt = 0, 75, Ma=1.64, p=0.03).

Based on the analysis and interpretation of the results of the study of the gender characteristics of internal communication, it can be concluded that the internal communication of women and men, respondents of different types of gender identity, differs in some features.

The results of the analysis of variance show that belonging to a certain gender and gender affects the following parameters of internal communication: satisfaction with oneself as a partner, desire for self-development, selectivity, sociability and self-disclosure, propensity for various experiences, certain communicative intentions, openness or closeness of topics, dialogue with image of a real other, external expression in facial expressions.

Satisfaction with oneself as a partner, openness to topics, modeling, “working on mistakes”, expression in facial expressions, a tendency to various experiences are most pronounced in women (4.18, 0.75, 0.40, 4.95, 0.09, 4 .52) and feminine respondents (4.22, 2.37, 2.35, 4.52, 0.1, 4.32). Closeness of topics, dialogue with the image of a real other is most pronounced in men (1.00, 0.04) and masculine type respondents (1.80, 0.04). Sociability is most pronounced in women (1.99), respondents of feminine (2.95) and androgynous types (1.94).

Women and respondents of the feminine type are distinguished by the openness of internal communication in topics (M(-em = 5.80 and MtaS = 4.20, p = 0.00; Mg = 0.54 and Mt = 0.04, p = 0 .04 and Ma = 0.29, p = 0.00) They are prone to different experiences in the course of communication (M&m = 5.69 and Mma8C = 1.25, p = 0.00; Mg = 6.38 and Mt = 6.06; Ma = 5.31; 28) Therefore, satisfaction with oneself as a communication partner is the most pronounced (M&t = 4.24 and MtaSS = 2.34, p = 0.00; Mg = 3.95 and Mt = 2.87, p = 0.00 and Ma = 5.43; 32 - for women, r = 0.35 - for respondents of the feminine type).

Basically, the gender features of internal communication relate to the characteristics associated with interpersonal communication. In particular, since women and feminine respondents are more oriented towards other people, the content of internal communication, first of all, is topics and problems related to interpersonal communication. They use internal communication to realize social perception and differentiation, communicative anticipation and social reflection. The request for internal communication is positively correlated with planning (r = 0.36), modeling (r = 0.32), social comparison (r = 0.28).

Women and feminine respondents use internal communication as an escape from negative communication in order to analyze its problems and autotherapy. The request for internal communication is associated with avoidance of contacts (r = 0.37), conflicts (r = 0.24), analysis (r = 0.25) and support (r = 0.31). For women and respondents of the feminine type, a dialogic form of internal communication is characteristic. At the same time, they often turn to fictitious interlocutors.

They are more sensitive to conscience (M(-em = 0.09 and Mta8C = 0.04, p = 0.00; Mg = 0.04 and Mm = 0.01, Ma = 0.01, p = 0.00 ), so in the course of internal communication

there is a formation and development of value orientations and personal characteristics. Internal dialogue is connected with conscience, inner voice (r = 0.35, r = 0.27). Conscience is positively correlated with development (r = 0.31). Internal communication is necessary for moral regulation (r = 0.31).

Despite the fact that women and respondents of the feminine type experience negative feelings when the “real self” and the “ideal self” disagree, they do not refuse internal communication, but, on the contrary, tend to use their characteristics as a development resource. Negative experiences in topics and partners are positively correlated with development (r = 0.24 and r = 0.21).

The communicative intentions characteristic of men and masculine type respondents indicate a greater self-orientation. They are not inclined to “talk” to themselves about significant problems and interests (MtaSS = 2.34 and M&t = 0.58, p = 0.01; Mt = 2.25 and Mg = 1.63, p = 0.01 and Ma = 1.62, p = 0.00). This confirms the notions existing in society about less openness and more restraint of men. They avoid internal communication (MtaSC = 2.32 and M&t = 1.56, p = 0.00; Mt = 4.08 and Mg = 1.89, p = 0.00 and Ma = 2.72, p = 0 .04). Especially if it forces you to pay attention to internal problems. Problems are associated with negative experiences and stress (r = 0.34; r = 0.31).

To maintain high self-esteem, they use the elimination of cognitive dissonance. The request for internal communication is positively correlated with cognitive dissonance (r = 0.27). This gives protection from resentment and failure, allows you to feel your potential, not depending on the opinions of others. However, this can lead to problems in relationships, as well as closeness in communication (MtaSS = 2.34 and M&t = 0.58, p = 0.01; Mt = 5.88 and Mg = 5.38, p = 0.04 and Ma = 4.77, p = 0.00), as well as orientation towards one’s own interests (MtaSC = 4.11 and MtSm = 3.98, p = 0.00; Mt = 2.69 and Mt = 0 .75, Ma = 2.09, p = 0.00).

In addition, men may consider self-disclosure and the discovery of personality problems as a sign of weakness (self-disclosure and problems associated with weakness: r = 0.25 and r = 0.24). This is contrary to notions of their traditional strength and superiority. Probably because men are afraid of loneliness, internal communication is realized as a dialogue with the image of a real other.

Since men and representatives of the masculine type are regulated by society regarding the demonstration of emotions, internal communication makes it possible to express emotions (MtaS = 0.88 and M&t = 0.15, p = 0.00; Mm = 3.08 and Mg = 0 .69, p = 0.02 and Ma = 1.64, p = 0.03), relieve emotional stress (MtaS = 2.12 and M(-et = 0.51, p = 0.00; Mt = 2 .00 and Mg = 1.50, p = 0.04 and Ma = 1.38, p = 0.00) 0.00; Mt = 2.00 and Mg = 0.85, p = 0.00 and Ma = 0.45, p = 0.01) and self-control (Mta8C = 5.39 and M&t = 4.96, p = 0.01; Mt = 6.00 and Mg = 4.85, p = 0.00 and Ma = 5.45, p = 0.01).

(r = 0.15), stress relief (r = 0.23), self-regulation (r = 0.31) and self-control (r = 0.34).

Summing up the analysis of the results of the study, it is important to note that the identified gender differences and similarities mainly relate to the content and functional priorities of internal communication.

In addition, our study revealed the coincidence of the influence of gender on the characteristics of internal communication with the influence of gender. Confirmation of the theories of the sociocultural approach to gender and sex differences is found. It is likely that the gender characteristics of internal communication, as well as gender identity, are formed as a result of the assimilation of ideas about female and male roles that exist in society. Features of the androgynous type are that women of this type are characterized by pronounced indicators for the main feminine features and some masculine ones. Androgynous men are characterized by pronounced indicators of the main masculine traits and some feminine ones. It may

serve as confirmation of concepts that consider the possession of predominantly masculine traits in men and feminine traits in women as an indispensable condition for the psychological adaptation of the individual.

Thus, based on the foregoing, we can conclude that internal communication is largely socially determined.

In conclusion, it should be noted that women and men, respondents of different types of gender identity, have similarities in the so-called "existential" characteristics of internal communication. Probably, introspection and self-determination, personal growth, understanding, spiritual development, the search for meaning and the "true Self" can be understood as the basic characteristics of internal communication. These characteristics allow us to consider it the main intrapersonal process that determines, changes, develops and supports a person throughout life path and having a significant impact on interpersonal communication.

LITERATURE

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An important aspect of the development of interpersonal interactions is the consideration of gender characteristics in social communications, the ratio of masculinity and femininity in them. Masculinity means focusing on values that are traditionally considered masculine. These include self-affirmation, ambition, heroism, achievements, records, competition, perseverance in achieving a goal, material success, etc. Femininity, on the contrary, manifests itself in peacefulness, building equal relations, caring for security, a tendency to compromise, modesty, caring for others, maintaining social contacts, striving for comfort, a high quality of life, etc.

The combination of masculinity and femininity in the national culture depends on many factors, primarily on the peculiarities of the country's historical development. It has been observed that countries located near the equator, German-speaking countries, and also (somewhat lower) Anglo-American countries have higher rates of masculinity. Japan has the highest index of masculinity. Femininity prevails in the countries of the northern, Asian and Romanesque. The highest index of femininity in Sweden.

Russia has traditionally been dominated by a masculine culture. AT Soviet years this manifested itself, in particular, in the glorification of women with male professions: drivers, tractor drivers, pilots, miners, etc.

Masculine cultures usually dry the following signs (settings):

1) real men are held in high esteem. They are endowed with such qualities as ambition, self-confidence, determination, assertiveness, rigidity, strength;
2) a man must support a family, provide it with money, a woman - to raise children;
3) a man should dominate both at work and in the family;
4) work and career are more important than household chores, life is subordinated to work, the highest achievements in life are wealth, career and material success;
5) striving for success as being ahead of others, competitiveness, even among friends;
6) the desire to present oneself well, to demonstrate real or imaginary virtues;
7) independence;
8) success and self-realization are more valuable than good relationships with others;
9) conflict resolution in the form of open power confrontation;
10) rationality in decision making.

Feminine cultures have in many ways opposite signs (settings):

1) focus on equality between men and women, including in leadership positions;
2) a man does not have to be the main earner of money in the family, he can raise children;
3) a man and a woman should be equal;
4) striving for the quality of life, the creation of comfort, work in order to live, material security is a condition for a high quality of life;
5) focus on equal relations with others, a tendency to compromise;
6) modesty in self-esteem, negative attitude towards boasting and self-aggrandizement;
7) solidarity, interaction;
8) focus on a good relationship and provision of services, caring for others;
9) hidden conflicts and their resolution through negotiations, and even better - conflict-free leadership;
10) making decisions based on intuition.

If masculine cultures are primarily focused on achievement, then feminine cultures are directly addressed to the person. Here, time spent with family or friends is considered more important than working overtime. A calm rhythm of life, good relations with others are welcomed.

These and other gender features of national cultures are manifested primarily in social communications: in everyday human behavior and in official contacts. At the same time, neither masculine nor feminine culture in interpersonal manifestations has clear advantages. However, for the success of professional activities, in establishing positive interactions, taking into account gender characteristics is a rather important factor. For example, when building a personnel management model, it should be taken into account that when a feminine culture dominates in a company, the use of a career-based motivation system will not give the expected results. At the same time, here good chances for success, a management model based on "human relations" - attention to people, a good psychological climate, collective motivation, etc.

Modern theories of gender dominance in business relations are characterized by four parameters identified and explored by Hofstede and his assistants. Thus, the Dutch scientist F. Trompenaars proposed the division of business cultures depending on the readiness to follow the law of orientation towards cultures of universal and concrete truths. The first type of cultures is distinguished by high law-abiding, the second - law-abiding, action in accordance with a specific situation, regardless of laws and rules. Canada, the USA, Great Britain, Germany, the Scandinavian countries have the highest rates of law-abiding, the countries of Asia, Latin America, Southern Europe, as well as Russia and the CIS countries have the lowest rates. A special role in these cultures is assigned to women (for example, the maternal position in divorce).

The role of sociocultural factors is manifested in the fact that the vast majority of women from childhood are oriented towards a relatively modest social status, the values of family and personal life, raising children and helping their husbands. Society and others also expect women to fulfill these social roles in the first place. The presence of this kind of orientation of women to the stereotypical perception of the female role by men is confirmed by a number of studies. Thus, according to observations of the behavior of jurors and a study by American psychologists F. Strodtbeck and R. Manne, men are much more active than women in the discussion preceding the adoption of a court decision. Research by E. Eriz also showed that in mixed laboratory groups, when solving common problems, men were the initiators of 66% of all communicative acts. In general, many studies confirm that women have a weaker desire to become a leader and perseverance in achieving this goal. This attitude of women can be explained primarily by society's prevailing expectations of a man to perform the functions of a leader and a weak willingness to accept a woman in this role.

Taking into account such stereotypes is important for female leaders, who, in order to effectively lead, have to make more efforts and actually prove the “normality” of their being in the role of a boss (M. Richter). For men, such evidence is usually not required.

The biological and psychological factors that determine the characteristics of the behavior of a female leader are manifested in a greater dependence of her mood and mental state in general on physiological cycles; in the burden of natural concerns about the family, the birth and upbringing of children; in less emotional balance and impartiality; in a stronger, compared with men, pronounced coloring of business relations in personal tones and in the perception of employees through the prism of likes and dislikes.

with a positive interpretation psychological characteristics American psychologists F. Denmark, B. Johnson and A. Eagley are associated to a certain extent with women. On the basis of the analysis of the relevant literature, they conclude that female leaders are more "soft", "humane", their superiority in understanding the personal problems of employees, adherence to the democratic style of leadership. Attention to people, the human factor, cooperative work, some authors consider the advantage of the female management style in the 21st century. Their research suggests that women are more likely to adopt a leadership style based on rewards and empathy. Men are more likely to use coercive and expert styles, formal principles and norms.

And yet, in the positions of managers and heads of public services, women are rather poorly represented. Yes, on public service In the United States, the proportion of women leaders is approximately 8-10% of the total leadership. In American business, women managers are represented even more modestly - 4.5% of the directors' corps. In Russia, the share of female directors is 15.1%. In general, our country ranks first in terms of the number of women managers.

According to statistics, on average, women most fully manifest themselves in production, make a career from the age of about forty years, i.e. when their children grow up and they are freed from the most burdensome family concerns. For a humane society, it is important to completely eliminate discrimination against women, create for them approximately equal opportunities for self-realization in the field of management, giving them the right to determine their own path in life.

Unlike the “sex” category, the “gender” category and gender-based behaviors are not set by nature, but are “constructed” by society (doing gender), prescribed by institutions of social control and cultural traditions. Gender relations are an important aspect of social organization and communication. They express its systemic characteristics in a special way and structure the relationship between the speaking subjects. The main theoretical and methodological provisions of the gender concept are based on four interrelated components: cultural symbols; normative statements that provide directions for possible interpretations of these symbols and are expressed in religious, scientific, legal and political doctrines; social institutions and organizations; self-identification of the individual. Gender relations, fixed in the language in the form of culturally conditioned stereotypes, leave an imprint on the behavior of the individual, in particular, speech, and on the processes of her linguistic socialization.

The category "gender" was introduced into the conceptual apparatus of science in the late 1960s and early 1970s. and was used first in history, historiography, sociology and psychology, and then was adopted in communication theory. The gender factor, which takes into account the natural sex of a person and its social “consequences”, is one of the essential characteristics of a person and throughout her life in a certain way affects her awareness of her identity, as well as the identification of the speaking subject by other members of society.

The term "gender" has thus been used to describe the social, cultural, psychological aspects of "feminine" versus "masculine", i.e. when highlighting all the formative features, norms, stereotypes, roles that are typical and desirable for those whom society defines as women and men. In the works of M. Rosaldo, L. Lamfere, R. Unger, A. Rich, G. Rabin, the concept of “gender” was interpreted as a set of agreements by which society transforms biological sexuality into a product of human activity.

In the 1980s a more balanced understanding of gender appeared as a problem not only of the explication of women's history, women's psychology, etc., but also of a comprehensive study of femininity and masculinity and the social and cultural expectations associated with it. In the 1990s a direction emerged that explored only masculinity, and with it the realization that masculinity has different manifestations in any society, the main of which was called the dominant (hegemonic) masculinity (hegemonic masculinity).

Communication is inconceivable without the observance of certain rituals, which Goffman interprets as confirmation of fundamental social relations. Rituals are numerous, they are constantly performed during communication between people and reproduce the norms and status relations accepted in society. Rituals facilitate communication, as they have a signaling function. Gender is a component of many rituals - for example, the clothing style of men and women is ritualized. Men, as a rule, are dressed strictly, simply and functionally; women are more colorful, playful and less functional. Various actions or their components can also be ritualized: the choice of vocabulary, style of speech, gestures, the very right to speak, the position of the speaker in space, intonation. The performance of ritual actions is regulated by society. However, a particular speaker may deviate from this regulation. Such deviations change the order of communication. On the whole, the ritual norms, known to all participants in communication, form a circle of expectations and attitudes of people, their readiness to behave accordingly.

In the late 1960s - early 1970s. gender studies in language received another powerful impetus thanks to the so-called New Women's Movement in the USA and Germany, as a result of which a peculiar direction arose in linguistics, called feminist linguistics(FL) or feminist critique of language. The main goal of feminist linguistics is to expose patriarchy - male dominance in the system and change the language.

The fundamental work in the field of linguistics was the work of R. Lakoff “Language and the place of a woman”, which substantiated the androcentricity of language and the inferiority of the image of a woman in the picture of the world reproduced in the language.

The specifics of feminist criticism of language include its pronounced polemical nature, attempts to develop their own linguistic methodology, involvement in the linguistic description of the results of the entire spectrum of human sciences (psychology, sociology, ethnography, anthropology, history, etc.), as well as a number of successful attempts to influence language policy.

The ideology of feminism is often considered as one of the components of postmodern philosophy. Hence her increased interest in the phenomena of language. Adherents of FL, as well as leading postmodern theorists (J. Derrida, M. Foucault), drew attention to the uneven representation of people of different sexes in the language.

Language captures the picture of the world from a male point of view, therefore it is not only anthropocentric (human-oriented), but also androcentric (male-oriented): language creates a picture of the world on behalf of a male subject, based on a male point of view, a male perspective, where the feminine appears mainly in the role of an object, in the role of the Other, Alien, or is generally ignored, which is the feminist “reproach”.

Lakoff identifies the following signs of androcentrism:

1) identification of the concepts "man" and "man". In many European languages, they are denoted by one word: man in English, Notte in French Mapp in German. AT German there is another designation - mensch, but it also etymologically goes back to Old High German mannisco-'masculine', 'pertaining to a man'. Word der Mensch masculine, but ironically can be used in relation to women with the neuter article - Das Mensch
2) nouns female are, as a rule, derived from male, and not vice versa. They often tend to be negative. The use of a male designation for a woman is permissible and enhances her status. On the contrary, the nomination of a man by a female designation carries a negative assessment;
3) masculine nouns can be used in an unspecified way, i.e. to refer to persons of any gender. There is a mechanism of "inclusion" in the grammatical masculine gender. The language prefers masculine forms to refer to persons of any gender or group of persons of different sexes. So, if you mean teachers and teachers, it is enough to say "teachers". Thus, according to the FL data, in the mass of cases, women are generally ignored by the language;
4) agreement at the syntactic level occurs according to the form of the grammatical gender of the corresponding part of speech, and not according to the real gender of the referent, for example: German. Wer hat hier seinen Lippenstift vergessen?(lit. - Who forgot his lipstick here?)- although we are talking about a woman;
5) femininity and masculinity are sharply demarcated - like poles - and are opposed to each other in qualitative (positive and negative assessment) and quantitative (dominance of the male as a universal) relation, which leads to the formation of gender asymmetries.

Gender asymmetries are called linguistic sexism. We are talking about patriarchal stereotypes fixed in the language and imposing a certain picture of the world on its speakers, in which women are assigned a secondary role and mainly negative qualities are attributed. Within the framework of linguistic sexism as a direction, it is investigated which images of women are fixed in the language, in which semantic fields women are represented and what connotations accompany this representation. The linguistic mechanism of “inclusion” in the grammatical masculine gender is also analyzed: the language prefers masculine forms if people of both sexes are meant. In the opinion of representatives of this trend, the mechanism of "involvement" contributes to the ignoring of women in the worldview. Studies of language and sexist asymmetries in it are based on the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis: language is not only a product of society, but also a means of shaping its thinking, and a mental tool. This allows FL representatives to assert that all languages functioning in patriarchal and post-patriarchal cultures are masculine languages and are built on the basis of a masculine picture of the world. In this aspect, anthropologists' data are also very interesting about the existence in some primitive cultures of not only separate thesauri for communication between men and women, but also special grammatical and syntactic forms of the language, which make it possible to establish in such communities the presence of independent "male" and "female" variants. language. Based on the above facts, FL insists on rethinking and changing language norms, focusing on the conscious regulation of the language and language policy as the goal of its research.

It is with this that the emergence of the concept of "gender" as a concept designed to emphasize the social nature of relations between the sexes and exclude the biodeterminism that is implicitly present in the concept of "sex", which links the social purpose and expectations regarding the individual's behavior with its biological properties, is connected.

In the course of research on the features of communication in same-sex and mixed groups, various aspects of conducting argumentative dialogues are analyzed - television talk shows, dialogues between doctors and patients, verbal communication in the family, etc. Such studies are based on the assumption that on the basis of patriarchal stereotypes fixed in the language, different strategies for the speech behavior of men and women develop. It supplements the theory of communication with data essential for the interpretation of statements, the expression in speech acts of power and dominance; formulates in a new way the conditions for observing the principle of cooperation; expands the concept of communicative failures by referring to them the interruption of the speaker, the inability to complete the statement, the loss of control over the subject of discourse, silence and a number of other parameters. All this can be considered a valuable contribution to the analysis of discourse. For example, some distinctive features female speech behavior:

women are more likely to use diminutive suffixes;
for women, indirect speech acts are more typical; in their speech

more forms of politeness and softening, such as statements in the form of questions;

there is no dominance in the speech behavior of women, they are better able to listen and focus on the problems of the interlocutor;
in general, the speech behavior of women is characterized as more “humane”.

However, this very fact, in the opinion of the FL representatives, has negative consequences for women when communicating in mixed groups. Their alert, non-aggressive, and polite verbal behavior reinforces social presuppositions and expectations that women are weaker, more insecure, and generally less competent.

Thus, women's communication is "deficient" compared to men's. Feminist linguistics has questioned the hypothesis of "scarcity" of female communicative interaction, putting forward the hypothesis of "differentiation" in its place. In this regard, the conclusions of Lakoff (in the work cited above) about the situation of “double bonding” that women find themselves in when communicating in mixed groups were critically comprehended: typically female tactics of speech behavior (compliance, cooperativeness, less frequent use of performatives compared to men, making statements in the form of questions, etc.) do not contribute to the perception of the content of messages, creating an impression of uncertainty and incompetence. If women use masculine tactics, which, according to Lakoff, are characterized by offensiveness, less cooperativeness, frequent use of directive speech acts, then they are perceived as unfeminine and aggressive, which, in the interpretation of FL, is caused by the inconsistency of such communicative behavior with the stereotypes of distribution of roles in society. Special tactics have been developed to help women.

Domestic studies of gender aspects of communication have also led to interesting scientific results. For example, the scientific school formed on the basis of the Moscow State Linguistic University denies the permanent presence of the category “gender” in language and speech (communications). When studying communication, speech behavior and other phenomena associated with speaking, this school recognizes gender as a "floating" parameter, i.e. a factor that manifests itself with unequal intensity, up to its complete disappearance in a number of communicative situations. This formulation of the question is the most modern and corresponds to the data obtained in the latest research in social psychology and sociology. Modern theories of social identity consider gender as a phenomenon “played out” or constructed in the course of communicative interaction. There is variation in the choice of language register by individuals depending on their social goals. So, the speaker can accentuate or “obscure” some parameters of his personality in order to solidarize with the interlocutor or distance himself from him. Therefore, the communicative situation can have a profound effect on discourse, which confirms the interactive nature of identity construction. In any case, however, consideration of the gender aspects of language and communication outside the cultural context cannot be considered scientific. Features of the gender concept in different languages and cultures, their discrepancy, as well as the consequences of this discrepancy in intercultural communication are also of great interest to scientists.

Interesting data for the study of the communicative characteristics of gender can be found in the work of B. Baron "Closed Society", which examines gender-specific differences in professional communication in the university environment.

Justifying the illegality of the recognition of male and female languages and the inconsistency of the concept of genderlect (independent existence on present stage development of the society of "male" and "female" versions of the language), the author concludes that the study of the gender characteristics of speech communication should be carried out taking into account the context and situation of communication. There are no permanent and context-independent signs of male and female speech. Instead of the outdated opposition male language - female language, the concept of “gender-preferred style forms” is used to denote the empirically confirmed fact that representatives of different sexes within a certain communicative genre more often choose a certain type of speech acts. According to the results of studies of communication in non-European cultures, the same types of speech acts may, due to cultural conditioning, be acceptable or probable for representatives of a particular people.

Four types of communicative genres have been identified in which the significance of the gender parameter is most likely manifested: communication management (giving a word, commenting on statements, length of a speech segment, etc.), constructing the status of an expert, playful communication, disagreement/argumentative discourses.

1. Moderator activity is essential. In televised discussions, women were rarely given the floor, and the moderator, who was not an expert himself, found it possible to criticize or lecture them.
2. Men are more likely to construct higher expert status than women. For men, a direct correlation has been established between the construction of the status of an expert in communicative communication and the expectations that were present at the beginning of communication "by default": a high professional or social status leads to a high communicative status. In women, such a direct relationship was not revealed. Moreover, women themselves contributed to the lowering of the communicative status, which was expressed in the excessive slowness of putting forward arguments, redirecting the question directed to them and the incompleteness of the expert statement, as well as in rare statements of an instructive nature.

By default, a high communicative status was attributed only to those women whose social position was very high.

3. When considering the features of the institutional frame "university", typical communicative conventions and restrictions, attention was drawn to the absence of a rigid set of communicative norms and the possibility of varying them to a certain extent, and it was noted that statements that deviate from the given norm are of the greatest interest.
4. The phenomenon of disagreement. When analyzing records of professional communication, primarily conversations at meetings and colloquia, a variety of genres was noted within the boundaries of the “university” frame. Thus, academic communication of the highest degree of publicity and formality revealed much more restrictions and regulation of the content (predetermined topic), temporal (the order of giving the word, the limited duration of the speech, the predetermined sequence of communicants) and personal (the exclusion of certain groups of people, the speech activity of the chosen ones, etc.). n.) character than less structured communicative situations.

The main feature of the expression of disagreement is its veiled nature. Direct and undisguised criticism is not typical for communication in this environment. Yes, the word nein is extremely rare at the beginning of a sentence. On the contrary, the use of the word ja represents a typical beginning of a critical speech. Rarely found at the beginning of speech segments and replicas Das istfalsch("This is not true"), Ich stimme ihnen uberhaupt nicht zu(“I totally disagree/disagree with you”). Much more often, the statement has a rather long prologue and only then a critical remark is formulated. Moreover, until the last moment, the speaker's critical mood remains disguised and is expressed in an offer of help, a repeat question, a clarifying question, and even praise. The intensity of such speech behavior is directly related to the degree of formality of the situation.

Analyzing the behavior of male scientists and female scientists in university communication on professional topics, Baron examines the actual gender aspects of communication and establishes that male scientists, more than female scientists, are characterized by a transition to monologue statements in debates, ironic disagreement, and when responses to criticism - references to authorities and their own professional status.

In the statements of female scientists, the amplitude between the initial compliment and the final criticism was, on average, less than that of men. They also very rarely encountered irony when criticizing an opponent or defending their own point of view.

There was also a tendency of the speakers to non-ironic self-criticism and faster than men's agreement with the point of view of the critic, more rare references to authorities, quotations, teachings. All this allowed the author to draw a conclusion about the insufficient desire of women to achieve the status of an expert.

Based on the generalization of research materials on the gender aspects of communication, it is possible to put forward a hypothesis about the development of communication in the history of mankind from specific language forms for different genders to the unification of communicative means on an androcentric basis. This development option is determined by the movement of society from a rigid division of labor by gender and socialization mainly in monogender groups to the unification of human activity and socialization in a standardized educational environment, formed mainly by the male half of humanity.

Gender aspects of communication are related to the sex of a person. The behavior of men and women is influenced by psychophysiological characteristics and gender stereotypes - typical (repeating) programs of consciousness of men and women, reflecting their ideas about their role in society. Through gender stereotypes, gender roles are passed down from generation to generation.

The opposition "male - female" is fundamental in human culture. In ancient ideas, the Word, Spirit, Heaven is the father of all things, and matter, the Earth is the mother. In Chinese culture, they correspond to the concepts of YIN and YANG. The result of their merger is the Universe.

In the view of the pagans, everything was different: it was the woman who was equated with the Abyss, the primary source of all life in the universe. In the modern Polish word woman(kobieta) the root coincides with the root of the Old Russian word kob- "fate". On the other hand, a woman is a symbol of the lower world, sinfulness, evil, earthly, perishable.

Interestingly, in the extremely difficult working conditions and survival of archaic societies, historians do not record gender differences. Along with social progress, which gave a division of labor (men grazed cattle, and women looked after the house), gender inequality appeared: men's activities conquered nature and women.

In ancient times, there were gender stereotypes of matriarchy, when a woman played a major role in society. Some researchers are trying to reconstruct them through language learning. Thus, the Kemerovo scientist Marina Vladimirovna Pimenova (Russia) finds many traces of matriarchy in the Russian language. We are told about this not only by the images of the snow woman, Baba Yaga, the Frog Princess, Vasilisa the Wise. Marya Morevna, Varvara-Krasa - a long braid, mothers of Tiny-Khavroshechki, etc., but also the etymology of many words. For example, having a root -women- in words marry and groom, tells us about the primacy of a woman in the process of creating a family. Literal reading of the word marry shows the dominant role of women in the process of creating a family.

In Russian fairy tales, beautiful girls themselves chose their husbands. The girl announced a "casting", which was attended by everyone who wanted to participate in this action. At the same time, it was for her that half the kingdom was given in addition. This means that state power and property were inherited through the female line.

Women of the era of matriarchy were witches, they could know the future, past and present. In Russian fairy tales, the book is an attribute of women: Vasilisa the Wise looks into the book to find out how to complete the task given by the king to her husband. These books were made of wood, and the smooth bark of the beech was used for writing. Hence, according to scientists, the word letter.

About dominant gender role women is also evidenced by the fact that the names of the tools of the female housewife refer to the words of the grammatical feminine gender ( pan, oven, stove, cup, mug, spoon, fork, ladle, bowl, plate, bowl, vase) and have signs inherent in everything feminine: roundness, capacity, connection with water and fire.

Abstract names that call the end of life, time periods, also refer to feminine words: life, death, share, youth, youth, maturity, old age, destiny.

Finally, in Russian there are feminine equivalents for the names of persons who rule the world, country, home: mistress, ruler, queen, princess, sovereign, empress.

As for the snow woman, this relic, preserved only in children's amusements, carries the most important information about the model of the Russian world in antiquity. The lower ball of a snowwoman symbolizes the world of spirits, ancestors (nav), the middle ball symbolizes the world of the living, the world of people (reality), the upper ball is the world of the gods that governs the other two (rule). Coal eyes are a symbol of Heavenly fire, a long red nose-carrot (an attribute of a stork) is also a symbol of Heaven, because it is the stork, according to legend, that brings children. Branch hands are a reflection of the world of vegetation, and a broom in hand is a World Tree. It is important that it is the snow woman, the bearer of the feminine, that is the symbol of ideas about the world in the Russian mind.

In modern psychological and esoteric literature one can find an idea of two types of gender stereotypes: patriarchal and modern. The stereotype reflected in various spiritual sources (Christian, Vedic, etc.) is close to the patriarchal stereotype. According to patriarchal stereotype, a man acts in society as a patron, protector, earner, actively acting personality. A woman, on the contrary, is passive in society, but creates an atmosphere of love in the family, is engaged in housekeeping and raising children, and this, in turn, helps a man “grow up” in social life. When choosing a husband or wife, according to the patriarchal stereotype, one should rely not on sexual attractiveness, but on the presence of common themes, the warmth of relationships and the desire to communicate. In the Vedic tradition, it is also proposed that a man and a woman should be similar in appearance to each other and that the man should be 5-9 years older than the woman. However, a reservation is made: if in the center family relations there is faith in God, then all other criteria are optional.

Modern stereotype opposite to the patriarchal and coincides with the feminist. It has been formed since the 19th century. The founder of modern feminism is the French writer-philosopher Simone de Beauvoir (she owns the book The Second Sex). In the nineteenth century the woman is trying to establish social and political equality with men. First of all, women received the right to be elected to parliament in Denmark (1915) and Russia (1917), and then in Germany (1919) and France (1944). At the beginning of the twentieth century. femininity is represented by two poles: the role of a decent woman and the role of a prostitute. In the 21st century the roles have changed: the role of a housewife and the role of a woman making a career have appeared. In modern post-Soviet states, a woman combines family and work roles, but is excluded from the decision-making process. A woman has taken on the role of a man in many ways today. She dresses like a man, works hard and hard, makes a career.

The modern Russian psychologist Anatoly Nekrasov, a specialist in the field of family and interpersonal relations, the author of 18 books on the psychology of relationships between men and women, in the book "Mother's Love" claims that in the USSR and in the post-Soviet space due to constant revolutions, wars and recovery after them All the main work in society was taken over by a woman. Men, on the other hand, either sat in prisons for freethinking, or died in the war, and if they remained alive, they were broken. As a result, the modern feminist stereotype among post-Soviet women was strongly reinforced. Neglect of a man and excessive focus on children have become a serious psychological problem for them.

American psychologist Judy Kuryansky points to a new criterion for choosing one's "soulmate" in a world dominated by the modern feminist stereotype. The roles of a man and a woman can be any, any discrepancies are possible: in appearance, education, habits, earnings, age, etc. Another thing is important - how ready the partners are for changes for the sake of each other. In How to Find the Man of Your Dreams, Kuryansky methodically teaches women to change their "programmed" requirements for a partner: for example, beautiful on the good-looking person, rich on the able to find money when needed etc.

In this topic, we should also consider the psychological, communicative and linguistic characteristics of men and women.

The variety of linguistic forms used in a state of conflict can be reduced to three types of speech strategies: invective, courtly, rational-heuristic. As a single principle of typology, the feature of affective behavior is used here, which is used by a linguistic personality to relieve frustration. Let's characterize each.

1. Invective strategy conflict behavior demonstrates a reduced sign: communicative Manifestations here act as a reflection of emotional and biological reactions and result in an affective discharge in the form of abuse, abuse (invective).

2. Courtly strategy , on the contrary, it is distinguished by an increased semiotic speech behavior, due to the speaker's attraction to etiquette forms of social interaction. As an extreme form of affect in this case, preference is given to crying.

3. Rational heuristic strategy speech behavior in a conflict situation is based on rationality, sanity. This type of discharge gravitates toward laughter as an affective response. Negative emotions in this case are expressed in an indirect, indirect way.

We emphasize once again that the communicative conflict carries the realization of emotional relaxation, stress relief. The effect of this "breathing" is similar to what the ancient Greeks called the term catharsis - psychological cleansing, bringing relief. Different linguistic personalities strive for different verbal catharsis. Thus, the invective linguistic personality is discharged with the help of direct verbal aggression, the courtly one demonstrates the emotion of resentment, the rational-heuristic one uses laughter catharsis, presented in the form of irony. To illustrate, let's take a typical conflict situation of family communication: a husband unsuccessfully looks for his socks in the morning, which causes extreme irritation of his wife.

Husband: - Do you happen to know where my socks are?

(Invective type) Wife: - Go to hell with your socks! I'm not your housekeeper! Moron!

(Courtly type) Wife: - If, of course, it's not difficult for you, be so kind: put your socks back!

(Rational heuristic type) Wife: - This, of course, was stolen by the enemies. CIA kidnapped. Study as a weapon of mass destruction.

All three types of answers are given from the position of the Bernese Parent. The speech strategy is chosen by the speaker unconsciously. Conflict behavior as a litmus test shows the originality of a linguistic personality. The noted features of behavior in a situation of emotional stress reveal themselves in other spheres of a person’s speech existence: in business, pedagogical, etc. It is enough to recall the school teachers with whom each of us dealt in his childhood. In a state of stress, some of them took the pose of the offended, others preferred to turn to shouting, while others discharged themselves with the help of ironic ridicule.

Domestic conflict, as a rule, arises as a result of dissatisfaction of one of the participants in social interaction with the behavior of another. In some cases, such dissatisfaction becomes the result of a communicative misunderstanding, which is based on the difference in the speech strategies of the participants in communication. Here are some examples from recordings of live conversational speech.

1. Husband (looking irritably for something). - Hell! Where does everything go in this house? Wife: -Don't you dare / talk to me in such a boorish tone!

2. Wife ("going to the apartment"). - I was driving / in some kind of gas chamber! This is a nightmare / what's going on in transport!

Husband (ironically) - Horror! Worldwide disaster! Wife. - I don’t understand / why are you happy / / Your wife’s arm was almost broken / and you are all snickering!

3. Wife. Oh / I feel so bad today / / ...

Husband (ironically). - Poor fellow// Lie down and do bye-bye//

Wife. - Cattle! It's you who sleeps all day / and I work hard for the whole family!

All three dialogues demonstrate conflict based on differences in types of linguistic personalities. In the first situation, the husband belongs to the invective type, the wife to the courtly type; in the second, the courtly wife expresses dissatisfaction with her husband's rational-heuristic style of communication; in the third example, a conflict is outlined due to a discrepancy: the wife is an invective type, the husband is a rational-heuristic type.

Observation of different linguistic personalities allows us to speak about the different degree of their conflict. Among our acquaintances, we can single out people for whom conflict is a natural form of interpersonal communication, and interlocutors with whom communication never turns into confrontation. Ability to cooperate in interpersonal interaction can be considered one of the criteria for highlighting the levels of communicative competence of linguistic personalities. The single basis here is type of dominant installation towards the other participant in the conversation. On this basis, we distinguish three levels of communicative competence: conflict, centered and cooperative . Each of the planned varieties includes two subtypes.

Before we get started detailed consideration of each type, we point out that the speech behavior of linguistic personalities within a particular level of communicative competence may differ. The difference in the linguistic forms of expressing the communicative intention is determined by the peculiarities of the individual style of the communication participants.

Observations have shown that different levels of communicative competence, allocated on the basis of harmonization / disharmony of communication, provide different opportunities for distinguishing between linguistic forms of constructing speech interaction (interaction). Let's move on to a detailed description of each of the identified varieties of discourse.

conflict type demonstrates an attitude against a communication partner. It reflects the desire of one of the participants in communication to assert itself at the expense of the interlocutor. This type is represented by two varieties: conflict-aggressive and conflict-manipulatory.

Conflict-aggressive subtype characterized by the fact that one of the participants (or both) demonstrate to the communicative partner a negatively charged emotional attitude (aggression), which is caused by the desire to see hostility in his behavior. One of the features of this type of speech is the presence in it of the so-called conflictogens, provoking the interlocutor to a collision. The aggressor is a person who is flawed in the socio-psychological sense. In order to achieve a sense of social usefulness, a communicator of this kind must cause moral discomfort to the interlocutor (“ say-

zat disgusting "). Communicative sadism becomes an extreme form of verbal aggression, when a communication partner becomes the object of verbal bullying.

Depending on the individual characteristics of the speech portrait of the participants in communication, aggression can manifest itself in different forms. Observations show that invective, courtly and rational-heuristic speech aggression differ quite clearly in terms of linguistic methods of implementation. The most obvious conflict of this type is expressed in the case when two invective linguistic personalities collide. As an example, let's take a short dialogue in public transport.

(A plump woman of advanced years, pushing her way to the exit) - Yes, you will let me / get out or something / fool!

(Woman in her forties) - Che you yelled / old horse!

However, not always aggression can take the form of a direct insult. Much more often it has the form of an implicit attitude, a hint. In everyday communication, this manifests itself in the sub-genre, which we called the term "caustic". A similar variety courtly aggression illustrates the anecdote well.

Two elderly friends are talking.

- How beautiful we were once. Especially me.

- Yes. And now we're so scary. Especially you.

Courtly conflict can manifest itself in the form of so-called communicative sabotage, when a question is answered with a question.

(Student, looking at the department)

- Excuse me / Will N [teacher's name] be here today?

- Not N/ but IM. [name and patronymic]//Don't you/don't you know/that you should address a teacher by his/her first name and patronymic?

If in the first example a direct insult acts as a conflictogen, then in the second it is a hint, a decrease in the interlocutor by indirect means. For rational-heuristic personality, such a provocative clue can serve introductory phrase, which introduces into the statement an offensive meaning for the interlocutor.

- Do you remember what day it was yesterday?

- Which?

- You, as always / forgot / that your son has a birthday / /

Conflict-manipulative subtype speech behavior is focused on communication, during which one of the participants in communication in his interlocutor first of all sees the object of manipulation. Here we also encounter psychological inferiority, which is overcome at the expense of a communicative partner. The manipulator asserts itself by placing the interlocutor in a specific communication situation in a lower status position compared to himself. He does not feel respect for the addressee of his statement, considering him, in terms of intellectual and ethical qualities, to be a being less developed. The dominant attitude in the speech behavior of such a linguistic personality is the imposition of one's opinion and, in general, an exaggeration of the authority of one's life experience (I think ...; You should (a) ...; I would be in your place ... etc.). In the course of communication, the manipulator manifests itself in teachings, advice, dictation, and in addition, in a manner, having asked a question, not listening to the answer to it or giving an answer himself, in an unceremonious change of topic by interrupting the interlocutor.

The discourse that reflects conflict-manipulatory communication is also quite clearly differentiated depending on whether the manipulator belongs to the invective, rational-heuristic or courtly types of linguistic personality.

(Invective)

- I don’t know / what should I do with K. [husband]? He lies all day long / and watches the video / /

- You were a fool / when you married him! I think / you drive him in the neck! Than this / better than none / /

(Courtful)

(to my husband) - Of course/ I'm sorry// Of course/ I can't force you// But in my opinion/ you're in this jacket/ look like a bum// Wear what you want/ it's your right// But I will be with you/ just ashamed to go

(Rational heuristic)

(Husband, turning to his wife, who is talking on the phone) - Are you for a long time?

Wife - Do not interfere / I'm on business / /

Husband- As I understand it / "we will not have dinner today / we will not ...

As in a discourse containing aggressive intentions, in the speech behavior of a conflict manipulator there are conflictogens, the purpose of which is to reduce, humiliate the communicative partner.

Centered type speech behavior is characterized by the presence of one (or both) of the participants in communication (interaction) ignoring communication partner. Our observations allow us to distinguish between two types of

discourse of this type: active-centered and passive-centered.

Active-centered subtype(active egocentric) sometimes, in its speech manifestations, resembles a conflict-manipulatory discourse: it also contains interruptions of the interlocutor, arbitrary changes in the topic of conversation, etc. However, it is necessary to state the difference here: if the conflict manipulator does not respect the communicative partner, wanting to impose his point on him point of view, then an active egocentric is simply not able to take the point of view of another participant in communication. An active egocentric builds his communication in the same way as a child playing ball with a wall: asks for advice and immediately talks about the decision made, asks a question and answers it himself, determines the topic of the conversation and develops it himself, without letting the communication partner insert a word, express your opinion. Subjectively, he experiences the illusion of full-fledged communication and, as a rule, enjoys communication without noticing the discomfort experienced by the interlocutor, which is sometimes fraught with communicative failures and (even) conflicts.

Conversation in the cinema, at the cinema club viewing.

- N/let's talk//

- About what?

-Let's talk about "Moloch" [film by A. Sokurov] // How do you understand?

-Understand...

(He speaks simultaneously with the interlocutor's remark, interrupting) - As I understand it / he himself is lonely / / He is a victim of loneliness / / Existential affairs / such / /

- Well, you understand// It is difficult to rationalize/ what/ what Sokurov had in mind// There is rather an atmosphere...

(Looking into space with an absent expression and obviously not listening) - Clear / / Clear / / And you now / what are you reading? (without waiting for an answer) I bought Foucault / / How do you like Foucault? (without waiting for an answer) I like//...

The material we collected shows that centered speech behavior is poorly differentiated by the strategic preferences of the participants in the interaction. In other words, in centered communication, speakers tend to behave in much the same way.

passive centered a kind of communication is characterized by the withdrawal of one of the communicative partners into oneself.

Such a passive egocentric usually looks like a harmless absent-minded (sometimes downtrodden) "hedgehog in the fog." He is hardly able to go beyond his own inner world. Such a feature of speech behavior, as a rule, becomes the result of the work of psychological defense mechanisms, which usually reflect some features of the upbringing of the individual. Usually, the speech behavior of such a linguistic personality contains a discrepancy between the tactics chosen by the speaker of the communication situation and the intention of the interlocutor, which indicates the inability to switch to the listener's point of view. The same is expressed in the mention of names unknown to the interlocutor, as well-known; in fundamentally banal reactions to information concerning a communicative partner; in inadequate reactions (replicas out of place); in transferring the conversation to topics that concern only the speaker, and a complete lack of interest in topics that interest the listener, etc. The speech communication of a passive egocentric is filled with communicative failures and misunderstandings, the fact of which they often do not notice.

(Teachers, sitting on the pulpit, watching how N goes through the papers on his desk) - I wonder / how long will she fuss?

-Yes / By the way / there was already a call / /

- Look/she doesn't even hear//

(N, after a while) - Are you talking about me?

This kind of discourse is especially evident when both participants in communication build their speech within the framework of passive centering. In this case, communication resembles the dialogue of the deaf described in a well-known anecdote:

- Are you in the bath?

- No, I'm in the bath.

- Ah. And I thought you were in the bath.

Our observations show that communication between active and passive egocentrics is quite successful (at least non-conflicting), in which the first one speaks out, not paying attention to whether the interlocutor is listening or not, and the second one is simply present during communication, not really delving into to the core of the conversation.

To an even greater extent than active-centered discourse, passive-centered speech behavior is not differentiated by the characteristics of the individual style of the speakers.

cooperative type speech behavior is characterized by a dominant attitude in communication to the communication partner. Here we also distinguish subtypes: cooperative-conformal and cooperative-actualizing.

Cooperative-conformal a kind of discourse is characterized by the fact that one of the participants in the communication demonstrates agreement with the point of view of the interlocutor, even if he does not fully share this point of view, which, as a rule, is a consequence of the fear of conflict, confrontation. Such a mood is manifested in demonstrating interest in another participant in communication in the form of clarifying questions, assent, showing sympathy, consolation, a compliment, etc. In real communication, this usually looks like an imitation (in varying degrees of persuasiveness) of a mood for a communicative partner. Sometimes concessions in building interaction that a conformist makes are perceived by his communicative partners as insincerity and even cunning.

Consideration of specific speech material shows that cooperative-conformal speech behavior, as well as conflict behavior, can differ. However, it is very important to note that the main principle of differentiation here is not so much the nature of the speaker's idiostyle, but the features of the addressee's speech manner. In such a case, we are dealing with a kind of speech mimicry - the desire to fit in with the interlocutor, not only at the level of the content of speech, but also at the level of linguistic design of the content. Let's take an example.

- I don't know / is N always going to / sit on his mother's neck?

- I do not know//

- It's time / in the end / for her to earn money herself!

- Yes, it's about time...

- Enough / pull from parents!

- Oh sure...

Cooperative-actualizing subtype speech behavior reflects highest level communicative competence of a person in terms of the ability to verbal cooperation. In this case, say

The speaker is guided by a basic principle that can be defined as the desire to put oneself on the point of view of the interlocutor to look at the situation depicted in the speech through his eyes. We dare to qualify this type of communication as corresponding to the basic postulate of Christian morality (“love your neighbor as yourself”). The fundamental difference between the behavior of an actualizer and a conformist is a double perspective in communication: an orientation not only towards a communicative partner, but also towards oneself. More precisely, the desire arouse informal interest in the interlocutor, the ability to tune in to his "wave". At the same time, a cooperative actualizer, respecting the opinion of another participant in communication, empathizing with his problems, does not necessarily have to agree with him in everything. Moreover, paradoxically, in some cases the behavior of the actualizer may resemble the methods of a manipulator and even an aggressor.

In the view of the pagans, a woman, on the contrary, was equated with the Abyss, the primary source of all life in the universe. In the modern Polish word woman(kobieta) the root coincides with the root of the Old Russian word kob- "fate".

On the other hand, a woman is a symbol of the lower world, sinfulness, evil, earthly, perishable.

In ancient times, there were gender stereotypes of matriarchy, when a woman played a major role in society. Some researchers are trying to reconstruct them through language learning. Thus, the Kemerovo scientist Marina Vladimirovna Pimenova (Russia) finds many traces of matriarchy in the Russian language. We are told about this not only by the images of the snow woman, Baba Yaga, the Frog Princess, Vasilisa the Wise. Marya Morevna, Varvara-Krasa - a long braid, mothers of Tiny-Khavroshechki, etc., but also the etymology of many words. For example, having a root -women- in words marry and groom, tells us about the primacy of a woman in the process of creating a family. In Russian fairy tales, beautiful girls themselves chose their husbands. The girl announced a "casting", which was attended by everyone who wanted to participate in this action. At the same time, it was for her that half the kingdom was given in addition. This means that state power and property were inherited through the female line.

The words describing female love also testify to the relics of matriarchy: set up nets, fall into someone's snares, lasso. This means that a woman of the era of matriarchy hunted small game, poultry and fish. Therefore, the literal reading of the word marry shows the dominant role of a woman in the process of creating a family: "to marry yourself."

The dominant gender role of women is also evidenced by the fact that the names of the tools of the woman-housewife belong to the words of the grammatical feminine gender ( pan, oven, stove, cup, mug, spoon, fork, ladle, bowl, plate, bowl, vase) and have signs inherent in everything feminine: roundness, capacity, connection with water and fire.

Abstract names that call the end of life, time periods, also refer to feminine words: life, death, share, youth, youth, maturity, old age, destiny.

Finally, in Russian there are feminine equivalents for the names of persons who rule the world, country, home: mistress, ruler, queen, princess, sovereign, empress.

In modern psychological and esoteric literature one can find an idea of two types of such stereotypes: patriarchal and modern. The stereotype reflected in various spiritual sources (Christian, Vedic, etc.) is close to the patriarchal stereotype. According to patriarchal stereotype, a man acts in society as a patron, protector, earner, actively acting personality. A woman, on the contrary, is passive in society, but creates an atmosphere of love in the family, is engaged in housekeeping and raising children, and this, in turn, helps a man “grow up” in social life. When choosing a husband or wife, according to the patriarchal stereotype, one should rely not on sexual attractiveness, but on the presence of common themes, the warmth of relationships and the desire to communicate. In the Vedic tradition, it is also proposed that a man and a woman should be similar in appearance to each other and that the man should be 5-9 years older than the woman. However, a reservation is made: if at the center of family relations there is faith in God, then all other criteria are optional.

Modern stereotype opposite to patriarchal and coincides with feminism. It has been formed since the 19th century. The founder of modern feminism is the French writer-philosopher Simone de Beauvoir (she owns the book The Second Sex). In the nineteenth century the woman is trying to establish social and political equality with men. First of all, women received the right to be elected to parliament in Denmark (1915) and Russia (1917), and then in Germany (1919) and France (1944). At the beginning of the twentieth century. femininity is represented by two poles: the role of a decent woman and the role of a prostitute. In the 21st century the roles have changed: the role of a housewife and the role of a woman making a career have appeared. In modern post-Soviet states, a woman combines family and work roles, but is excluded from the decision-making process. A woman has taken on the role of a man in many ways today. She dresses like a man, works hard and hard, makes a career.

Modern Russian psychologist Anatoly Nekrasov, philosopher, member of the Union of Writers, leading specialist in the field of family and interpersonal relations, author of 18 books on the psychology of personality, relationships between men and women, in the book "Mother's Love" claims that in the USSR and in the post-Soviet space for constant revolutions, wars and reconstruction after them, all the main work in society was taken over by a woman. Men, on the other hand, either sat in prisons for freethinking, or died in the war, and if they remained alive, they were broken. As a result, the modern feminist stereotype among post-Soviet women was strongly reinforced. Neglect of a man and excessive focus on children have become a serious psychological problem for them.

American psychologist Judy Kuryansky points to a new criterion for choosing one's "soulmate" in a world dominated by the modern feminist stereotype. The roles of a man and a woman can be any, any discrepancies are possible: in appearance, education, habits, earnings, etc. Another thing is important - how ready the partners are for changes for the sake of each other. In How to Find the Man of Your Dreams, Kuryansky methodically teaches women to change their "programmed" requirements for a partner: for example, beautiful on the good-looking person, rich on the able to find money when needed etc.

In this topic, we should also consider the psychological, communicative and linguistic characteristics of men and women.

According to Bendas T.V. (2006), differences in communication between men and women are manifested in different styles of behavior of mother and father, which are found:

1) in the use of instrumental or expressive leadership style;

2) in the degree of rough physical interaction;

3) in different sensitivity to manifestations of emotions in children;

4) in the manifestation of either reciprocity or imperious assertiveness when making demands;

5) in confrontation and discipline;

6) in teaching and informing children.

Let's take a closer look at the various manifestations of styles.

Instrumental and expressive styles. Here it is necessary to recall the theory of sexual behavioral styles by T. Parsons and R. Bales - an instrumental style is typical for men, and an expressive style for women.

Men, in the role of father, often shy away from effective interaction with their son or daughter.

The degree of gross physical interaction. In addition to less interaction with the child, the father demonstrates a rough physical style in this interaction, that is, he shows in his behavior direct physical contact and physical activity. For example, he throws the baby up, and later teaches the child to ride a bike, run and jump with him. According to Yogman, 70% of fathers and only 4% of mothers played such games and used this type of activity.

Mothers usually play distance games: they smile at the baby, look at him, walk, talk and sing, show him toys. When children get older, the mother uses toys to engage the child in interaction - to play some kind of game with him. The father, on the other hand, stimulates the child to physical activity: run, jump, fall, etc. Although both parents encourage the child to active and exciting games, the father's style is more "exciting".

At the same time, the focus of fathers on physical contact and physical activity is a positive factor, and if fathers pay more attention to children, then we can hope for a harmonious combination of styles of father and mother. In addition, for the harmony of marital and parental relationships, both parents can play the same games with their children: physical, intellectual, emotional.

Sensitivity to manifestations of emotions in children. Fathers are less likely than mothers to make contact with the infant: touch the body, make eye contact, smile, and use vocalizations (Field and colleagues). Apparently, infants (there are such data, but they are few) show greater vocal activity in relation to the mother than to the father. Thus, mothers are more attentive to manifestations of emotions in children than fathers, and, apparently, are more prone to such activity. As a result, the child gets used to complaining about his emotional problems to his mother.

Perhaps fathers consider this style emphatically “feminine” and avoid it. However, this does not mean that they are not able to understand the child, to sympathize with him. Perhaps, special work is needed here to explain to fathers the importance, including emotional contact with the child.

Confrontation and discipline control. Fathers much more often resort to directive forms in interaction with children: they raise their voice, shout, give instructions in an imperative form, i.e. they confront the children without indulging them, and the children perceive the father as a more authoritative member of the family.

In one of the experiments, which is described by T.V. Bendas (2006), children 4-7 years old, playing puppet theater, depicted their father speaking in an imperative, loud voice, and their mother speaking delicately, in hints. This indicates that children distinguish between mother and father styles. Moreover, apparently getting used to the fact that an imperious tone and raising the voice to a scream is a characteristic of the father, the children associate everything related to discipline with him, and the soft tone of the mother is associated with undemanding and lack of discipline. Of course, this is a simplification. You can probably imagine a mother who achieves discipline and fulfillment of her requirements without shouting and orders.

However, another factor may play a role here. A woman may intentionally (consciously or unconsciously) demonstrate her helplessness in imposing discipline in order to involve her father in raising children. She tells her husband: “Children obey only you” or “Get them in line, they have completely blossomed”, but she threatens the children: “Here comes the father, he will ask you.” This creates a stereotype that "dad will scold, and mom will regret." It seems to me that such a demonstration of different styles is not very conducive to the upbringing of a child. Mom can be strict, but dad can be kind and understanding. And some men are rightly indignant that their wives assign them the role of a policeman or an overseer. Other men, however, may be satisfied with such a role - he punished his son or daughter - and now he has already taken part in the upbringing. Apparently, parents of different sexes should be taught to expand their repertoire of styles.

Education and information. Fathers more often than mothers demonstrate intellectual communication with children. They educate them, explain the incomprehensible, give information (Bronstein), more actively than mothers, develop children's motivation for success and intellectual interests (Coleman and colleagues).

Perhaps women often do not have the information that men have, and cannot answer many of the questions of the child. It seems to me that this factor can also be important for the perception of the father as a more authoritative member of the family. On the other hand, women should broaden their horizons in order to be interesting to their children and be able to answer their questions. It seems to me that, despite the available knowledge and intelligence, a man can also evade answering the child's questions, saying, for example: "Leave me alone, I'm tired." Therefore, fathers need to be taught their positive role in raising their children.

Interestingly, the manner of communication between men and women was given great importance back in Ancient Greece. For example, a man was supposed to keep his head held high. Women, on the contrary, were not supposed to look the interlocutor directly in the eye. The look averted to the side testified to modesty, modesty, humility. Today, on the contrary, according to R. Axline, women look at interviewers more often than men.

The male style of communication from early childhood looks more active and objective. Men are more direct about their needs, which makes them more understandable and predictable than women. The masculine style emphasizes independence, a propensity for action, characteristic of people in positions of power, while the feminine emphasizes interdependence. Men speak with pressure, interrupt the interlocutor, make firmer eye contact, and smile less frequently (Bartol and Martin, 1986; Carli, 1991; Johnson, 1993; Major et al., 1990; Cross and Madson, 1997). Women prefer less direct ways of influencing the interlocutor - they interrupt less, are more tactful and polite, less self-confident. They ask questions more often, repeating them, more often expressing doubt or denial about their statements in order to soften their opinion and show at least minimal support to the other speaker. L. Carli and co-authors (L. Carli et al., 1995) found that women have slightly more justified intonation, friendliness in facial expression, degree of inclination and tension of posture, calm gestures than men. Female leaders laughed equally often when communicating with both men and women (in contrast to male leaders who laughed only in the presence of the opposite sex - C. Johnson, 1993).

Male communication is characterized by greater emotional restraint, a desire for dominance, for creative and rational ways of interaction (L. Carli et al., 1995). Men communicate with each other at a greater distance, it is less customary for them to hug and especially kiss. This is due, as some authors believe, to the fear that they will be suspected of homosexuality. True, these rules are not observed in all countries. In Morocco, as S. Berne writes, men can freely walk the streets holding hands or even under the elbow. For men content joint activities more important than individual sympathy for partners.

Women express their emotions and feelings more freely, including with persons of the opposite sex; about a wide range of interpersonal distances, each of which shows a certain level of intimacy with a person (D. Forsyth, 1990). As a result of their greater social orientation, women are more aware of the fragile bonds that unite people and make their communication more trusting. The female style of communication is associated with such interpersonal relationships, which are characterized by subordinates, or socially desirable behavior strategies, demonstrating which a woman relies more on intuition (G. Jones, C. Jacklin, 1988).

Women often look at the interlocutor during listening than during speaking, while men do not have such differences (J. Hall, 1996).

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