Hello! I really need your advice!!!

I married at the age of 18 a young man whom I love very much, but the problem is that he was married and has a child.

In general, everything is fine with us, but our quarrels only happen because of his ex. The problem is that she still loves him but lost him herself!!! We all know that we build our own happiness: she herself told him to “go away” and has been allegedly regretting it for 2 years. She pulls him towards her in every possible way, he loves his daughter very much and does not hide it... She often invites him to visit, etc. But when she found out that he got married, she completely lost control... She writes to him: “I cooked yours favorite dish come, I’ll feed you.” Naturally, he doesn’t go, I also cook very well and try to please him in everything. It’s just that now a situation has arisen: she invited him to her place for his birthday, and he got ready to go. To this I told him: it will be unpleasant for me.

He was simply hysterical and, naturally, we had a fight again. I just don’t know what to do... I’m jealous... He says he loves me, and if he wanted to return to her, he would have done it a long time ago... I’m just afraid, help! Elena.

READERS' RESPONSES But I have a completely opposite situation. Six months ago I asked my husband to decide - a mistress or a family (me and the children), and he chose a mistress. Well, good riddance, I live for my own pleasure, I don’t meddle in their family life, I don’t call, I don’t write, I died like that. But after the New Year they creep into my life, steal my photos, steal something from the house, and I’ll go and buy something better. They call at night and write text messages. And I don't argue with them. The only thing I asked the district police officer to calm them down. So exes are different. Evgenia. Advise your husband to pay off his ex-wife. For example, I also suffered a lot and wanted him to return, I called, waited day and night, called, raved about him, said that I would forgive everything, I went crazy. But when, at a meeting, he offered to re-register a large deposit in my name in exchange for freedom, I thought and agreed, giving my word of honor that he would not hear from me again. I’ve kept my word for almost 6 years now. That made my soul feel better. The child and I disappeared from his life. Apparently (and most likely), I was waiting for his return and called back, being in fear of the impending poverty: they say, how will I manage a child without him now alone. They call the departed husband back out of fear - either of poverty or of loneliness. Well, not because of love for the one who exchanged you and his child for another! Although at first it mistakenly seems that way - that you are calling him back to the family because you still love this scoundrel! Ex-wife. The advice is simple - while there are no children together, look for an alternate airfield and fly away. Otherwise, get ready that you won’t be alone with him. Alex. My dear girl. You knew who you were marrying. So stop being jealous. He is a good husband, and he will treat your children together the same way. Take this calmly, and he will not hide anything from you. Trust him. Ira. I have the same situation. My girlfriend is terribly jealous of my ex-wife, with whom we have a child. You need to understand that if the husband took the child home and talked to his wife, then this is not a reason for jealousy. But you went to visit your ex - this is already beyond the bounds, and you need to convey your concerns to your loved one, but calmly, without complaints or hysterics. Conductor.

They say there are no ex-wives. This is partly true, because once upon a time your man spoke words of love and vows of fidelity to another woman. He slept with her, ate at the same table, made plans. Perhaps he managed to “give birth” to children. In any case, they are connected by a common past that cannot be crossed out, carved out, or erased.

When marrying a man “with history,” just in case, you need to be prepared that his former passion, one way or another, will periodically invade your life with your spouse. By accident or on purpose. The likelihood increases dramatically if she has children with your loved one. And if this happens or has already happened, you will definitely think about how to get your ex-wife away from her husband. This is what this article will discuss.

What does his ex-wife want?

Before deciding on a strategy of behavior, you need to understand what motivates your opponent. Yes, a rival. After all, you perceive her this way if, to put it mildly, you are not satisfied with this state of affairs - her visible or invisible presence in your life? You worry, are jealous, get irritated when she calls him on his mobile, asks for something, offers to go out with the children, etc.

Situations are different, and each of them requires its own solution:

• she dreams of returning him. This happens - I got divorced, went for a walk, realized that I had made a mistake and wanted to correct it, revive my marriage. In this case, there is only one advice - complete ignorance on the part of the spouse. And with yours too. No exhortations, scandals or persuasions to leave you alone. The contact will continue as long as you and/or your man respond. Even negative. If you don't add wood to the fire, it will die out over time. It's the same here;
• she has to communicate with your husband because of their common child. There's nothing to be done about it. Children are sacred and there is no need to prevent them from communicating with their father (imagine yourself in the place of these children or a single woman with children). Moreover, by insisting on breaking the parent-child relationship, you risk ruining your relationship with your spouse. If he is an honest, fair person, a loving and caring father, he will never abandon his offspring. And if he leaves, then think about the fact that he can do the same to you and your children. IN in this case To calm yourself down, you can do the following: take the initiative and invite his children to visit you, go to meetings with them together with your husband. Thus, you broadcast it to your former family: “I am, I am always there, I am also part of your life”;
• you took your spouse away from the family, and now ex-wife does not allow you to live in peace. In this version, she may be driven by the pain of betrayal, rejected feelings, and she simply wants to rehabilitate her injured pride - to return her husband and wipe your nose. Here the solution is the same as in the first case - complete ignore. And iron patience;
• the last option is the most difficult. This is when the ex-wife still loves your spouse and has a child (children) with him. The situation is stalemate - children cannot be deprived of their father, and it is terrible to lose a husband.

Particularly arrogant and unprincipled women begin to manipulate their father's feelings - to dictate their terms, threatening to deprive them of communication with their children. Here it is important for the former father of the family to demonstrate a firm position and not be fooled by provocations and ultimatums. IN best case scenario, the ex will get tired of fighting and allow you to see your offspring, without demanding anything in return. In the worst case, your spouse will not see the children, you will have to wait until they grow up and resume communication themselves.

Conversation with your spouse

You cannot remain silent about your feelings. Your tension will definitely affect the family atmosphere. Be sure to talk to your spouse about this:

1. Share your feelings about the current situation. Be honest about your concerns and concerns. That you don’t like his communication with his ex. And if they are not connected by offspring, then it makes sense to demand that the husband stop this contact. No children mutual obligations too – why maintain this connection? Adequate, loving man will make a choice in your favor.
2. Discuss a plan that will help you get rid of your ex's unwanted intrusions. For example, agree that your husband will not answer her calls after 21.00. He won’t run to her aid every time she asks, and won’t solve her personal problems. Clearly specify the schedule according to which the spouse will meet with the children, how much alimony to pay, etc.
3. If there are heirs left in that family, then agree with your husband to act together: you need to take a walk with the children - you walk together, help your ex-wife repair the furniture - you go to her together, take it, bring it, buy it, give it - you do everything together. If your ex has any plans for your partner, she will soon give up any attempts to seduce him due to the lack of such an opportunity.

How to talk to your ex

It was already stated above that the best way out of a situation where your ex haunts you is to ignore her. But in order not to leave her in the dark, alone with her fantasies, it’s worth talking to her once to dot the i’s. Who should do this and how:

1. Ideally, this problem should be solved by the husband. After all, he created her (his wife), and it’s up to him to “sort out.” It is necessary to clearly explain your position to your ex-wife, leaving no chance for family reunification. Sometimes men are afraid of offending or hurting a woman and make ambiguous messages - they don’t say yes or no. They don’t understand that by feeling sorry for the ex (and if she is also the mother of his children!), they are thus giving her hope. And then they wonder why she is trying so hard to get into a new life.
2. You can talk to her yourself. Calmly. No aggression. No matter how she behaves, remember that in any case she is driven by painful feelings. Calmly explain that now you have your own life and there is no place for strangers in it.
3. Seek help from relatives. For example, to my husband's parents. If they stayed with their ex-daughter-in-law in good relations, then perhaps they will be able to convey to her the essence of the situation.

When your ex behaves inappropriately - she makes threats, writes offensive text messages, punctures the tires on her car, you should file a complaint with the police. In this case, there is no need to sort things out on your own, since such an attempt will only provoke the aggressor and provoke new attacks on her part. It is also quite dangerous: no one knows what is on her mind and how it all might end.

If you and your husband go to events where you often meet his ex, be sure to show her how good you are together. Even if at this moment you are quarreling, you are not in the mood or you got up on the wrong foot. If you have a plan, then it's worth sticking to it, no matter what. She must see that you are immensely happy, and therefore she has no chance.

How to stop being jealous

Probably every woman, finding herself in such a situation, will be tormented by feelings of jealousy. A rich female fantasy gives birth to scary pictures in the head - the husband will not withstand the onslaught of love, will reciprocate and return to ex-family. You will be left alone and die of grief, surrounded by 40 cats. As a result, every day with your suspicions you drive your loved one to a nervous tic, you check his phone, call him at work 20 times a day to check his whereabouts... The atmosphere becomes tense, unbearable for both of you.

It is important to understand that such behavior does not help you, but only makes the situation worse. A man may be so tired of your paranoia and excessive control that he himself will want to leave - anywhere, as long as he is not “nagged.” Therefore, if you are aware that your jealousy has reached prohibitive proportions, you need to take action. What psychologists advise:

1. We exhale, put aside our emotions and look at the situation with the eyes of an observer. What's really going on? How does your spouse behave towards your ex? How does he feel about you? If he is next to you now, probably because he wants it? You’re not blackmailing him, you’re not threatening him with violence, you’re not keeping him on a chain?
2. Talk to your husband, but only once. Ask him about his feelings for his ex. Is there any chance that he can come back? Is he attracted to her as a woman? How does he feel looking at this whole situation?
3. Talk to your husband's ex-wife. Ask carefully about your personal life and plans. It is possible that all your fears are the fruits of a wild imagination. Maybe that woman has been in love for a long time, happy, and you are only imagining her insidious intent.
4. It might be worth asking for advice on a forum whose topic is the same situation. It is not unique; many have experienced this. “Experienced” wives will give a lot of useful information.
5. Go to a psychologist and sort out your feelings - separate fact from fiction. Find internal resources that will help you not perceive the current situation so painfully.

Remember that happiness is in your hands. You shouldn’t leave things to chance and expect the problem to resolve itself. On the other hand, do not catastrophize what is happening and be patient.

Useful video:

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How to destroy a family. Allowance for men

How to regain your freedom? Ten simple rules for breaking relationships and gaining freedom

1. Never consider your wife's opinion. You are a man, which means “As I said, so it will be.” Push until the end.

2. No signs of attention. No compliments, no gifts, no flowers. This is slobbering.

3. Never help around the house. This is a purely female function. Remember that you get tired at work, but want to relax at home.

4. Remember that there can be many wives, but only one mother. Always take her side.

5. Constantly teach your wife. Tell us how to live correctly. After all, a woman is a weak-minded creature and cannot live without a man’s opinion.

6. If constantly taking your mother’s side is not enough, let your mother live with you.

7. A great way to assert yourself is to make fun of your wife in a campaign of friends. Everyone finds it funny - laurels to you as a witty guy.

8. Don't make sex a cult. It’s just physiology, the body’s need, like drinking water.

9. Remember that the birth of a child is an excellent period to drive a stake into the very heart of your relationship. Transfer all the troubles of caring for the child to your wife. It's not going anywhere anyway.

10. Spend your money mostly on yourself. If your wife buys something for herself, feel free to reproach her for squandering and extravagance.

11. If the previous points did not help, then you will have to use “heavy artillery”. A mistress, assault, alcoholism can seriously catalyze the process of separation.

The topic is quite slippery, and it should be noted right away that sometimes you can develop an impeccable plan, strictly follow the prescribed points, but you will not be able to separate your lover from your wife. Why? Because main reason, driving their actions is love. If there is love, the suffering husband can only wait for it to be exhausted (and the spouse will return at that moment when you have already forgotten to think about it) or, on the contrary, it will develop into something more (the spouse will not return, but at that moment you will also forget to think about it ).

When there is no love, but only passion, and the missus simply decided to escape for a while from the boring family life, then it is easier. In such a situation, the husband must certainly act to return his soul mate to the family from the other. How to do this?

Let's start with the fact that the phrase: how to get rid of a lover is not entirely successful. Pictures of proceedings using assault, duels and other “masculine” methods immediately appear. So, the last thing you need to think about is the lover who stole or is taking away your woman. Or rather, you don’t need to think at all. You have to rack your brains about how to return your wife to the family, what to do or not to do so that she suddenly understands that her action is wrong, and you are exactly the one she needs more than anything in the world.

There are three ways aimed at keeping your beloved close to you. The two of them are completely opposite to each other. More on them later.

The essence of the third is... doing nothing, that is, waiting for the situation to resolve itself.

It is most acceptable for passive men who prefer to turn a blind eye to what is happening or for some reason (not love) are afraid of losing their spouse. At first glance, this is the easiest way. In fact, there is nothing of the kind. Inaction is the worst punishment for the human psyche, especially in this situation. But we will not now evaluate either this method or those husbands who resort to it. Let's just say that it also has a right to exist.

But the first two methods are effective. And the advantages here are that they not only encourage a man to win, but also strengthen the psychological state - self-confidence, a positive attitude (as far as possible in such conditions) and give the main thought, irreplaceable for everyone: I am not sitting idly by, I am I'm doing something.

So, what are these methods of struggle? Let's consider.

Method No. 1: Give your beloved everything that the other gives

This kind of advice comes up all the time, it is on the lips of most psychologists, and women, judging by numerous sociological surveys, consider it the most successful incentive for creating a happy family. Yes, it's possible. However, the method does not work in all cases. Each woman's personality structure is structured differently. There are many beautiful people who are simply infuriated by the ideal behavior of their own husbands. So be careful - this approach may not work. If the husband used this method and sees that it does not save, but rather aggravates the situation, he should immediately change tactics.

But for now, let’s take a closer look at our method No. 1:

• If your wife has a lover, give your beloved what the other gives. The advice concerns, first of all, the sexual and romantic side of relationships. Stock up on sex shop toys, watch adult movies, and CHANGE your lovemaking spots. Think carefully: if your beloved goes to the left, it means that something interesting is happening to her there. And most importantly, prohibitions are broken there and there is an adrenaline rush. So break it too. Together.
• Scandalte. If you are a very flexible and quiet person in life, start a scandal. Surprise your spouse with unusual behavior, and also give both of you a reason to speak out. And yes, don’t forget that a scandal can end in unexpected passion and bed.
• Kill the "domestic"! Few people know how to ward off a hated life from their family. You must not sit still! Start traveling together. If finances do not allow, ride bicycles, go to the pool together, jump with a parachute. By the way, extreme sports also heightens emotions and feelings. Afterwards you can have unforgettable sex.
• Go out into the world. Sitting at home with friends is good and comfortable, but think about who cooks for the table, who clears the table and washes the dishes at one in the morning? Most likely not you. Start having lunch, dinner, or hanging out with friends outside the home more often. In public you behave differently (after all, you won’t go to a restaurant in sweatpants and lie down in front of the TV), there you have a better chance of being the way your wife fell in love with you.
• To separate your lover from your wife, you must surprise your beloved, give flowers and show attention more often than you are used to. Give compliments, because a woman loves with her ears. Step away from the banal. Do not give gifts exclusively on March 8 or Valentine's Day. Change tactics - do it once a week. You don’t have to spend a lot of money and bring home a bouquet of a hundred and one roses. Something modest, even imperfect, but from the heart is enough. She must feel it from the heart. But do not give household gifts - coffee grinders, ladle and other utensils - they already get boring every day.

• Surround your chosen one with care, make her feel that you are not indifferent to family troubles. After all, care is not only financial support, but also a timely response to a request. For example, fix the faucet (don't wait for the 50th reminder). Believe me, an adequate response to requests is much more important than flowers, money and other fuss.

Try it this way. If it suits your loved one's personality, you will soon find that your wife has returned to you and no longer craves outside love. Of course, a man will need to make supernatural efforts not to give himself away, not to break down, to be calm and balanced. But if he loves, he will definitely cope.

Method #2: Do it the other way around

You can use the “do the opposite” route like this:

1. The husband knows his chosen one so well that he is confident in this method and applies it right away.

2. The spouse does not know his other half very well, so first he tries to separate him from his lover using method No. 1. If it does not work, he proceeds to the second.

What's the point here? You probably guessed that, using this method, you should not show increased attention, give gifts and go out of your way to prove your advantage. Especially if this is exactly what happened in your family before the betrayal: an attentive, caring husband, constantly showing his other half how dear she is.

Why the chosen one did not particularly appreciate the efforts of her husband is a secondary question, but also worth attention. Here you need to remember the following: if the marriage was made for convenience or the unfaithful woman never loved her chosen one, because marriage became a salvation from a previous unhappy love, then even “doing the opposite” will not help. In this case, drastic measures are necessary, for example, divorce.

This method will only work if the bride married you for love, but over time started an affair on the side.

So, how to get your missus away from another man: method No. 2.

• Live your own interesting life. Show that you are busy, passionate, and interested in what you do. But don’t ignore your loved one, share your impressions, radiate positivity, and then... run away. Supposedly to where you feel good. Do not doubt that your missus will immediately suspect that you have someone else and will switch from her “love” emotions to your behavior. It is quite possible that she will lose the desire to run to the left, because she will feel that she is losing you.
• If before the unpleasant story you were caring and exemplary, stop being so. Don’t call, don’t ask where, what and how, give up the habit of pampering the unfaithful with surprises and taking her with you into the world. Let him think that someone else already has such privileges.
• How else to separate traitors? Don't be interested in your wife's affairs. Get by with the banal “how are you?” and a routine kiss on the cheek upon meeting/leaving.
• Sex is the main reason why a woman determines how much her chosen one needs or does not need her. Show that you are happy without sexual relations. Ignore.
• Forget about any contact with your missus' lover. She finds out that you met and then everything was lost: here it is, a reason to think that you were overcome by jealousy. Do not write SMS or a letter to your wife's lover, either on her behalf or on your behalf. This method is beneath your dignity. Be patient a little and see for yourself - by acting in this way, you will return your beloved faster.

Psychologists' opinion

As for the debate about the effectiveness of the above paths, many psychologists argue that it is necessary to start with the second one. According to experts, the psyche of most beautiful people is designed in such a way that attention can only be attracted by causing jealousy and suspicion. If you do not show anxiety and other true emotions, you will sow the seed of doubt in the soul of your chosen one. Her ardor for another man will fade a little, and over time (if you don’t give up) it will disappear altogether.

In the same way, it is possible to return your soulmate who has already left, supposedly forever. The only problem is that not every male representative can cope with the task.

But whatever it is, try, try, act. In both cases, you will need a lot of patience and iron self-control. Be confident in your actions, don’t doubt yourself, experiment and see that your efforts were not in vain.

If you have long known the ways to conquer a woman and seduce a man, if you are tired of reading about how to keep your spouse, then perhaps your collection of various tips for all occasions is missing the wise and meaningful nonsense that I offer you as a guide to action to finally get rid of the hated spouses.

Well, tell me, woman, aren’t you tired of this fat man with piggy eyes and hairy arms, who is constantly in one single position - lying on your sofa in front of the TV, and only occasionally turns around to fulfill his marital duty and call his mistress “on business”?

Well, tell me, man, aren’t you tired of this woman in a washed-out robe, curlers and shabby slippers, who always whines, grumbles, nags, whittles, sometimes even hammers nails into your long-suffering body, nervous system, financial capabilities and a burning desire to relax after work?

Aren't you tired of contemplating her plump figure, pimples on her nose and tangled hair, aren't you sick of the TV series that she successfully plays on your person after watching? Are you not disgusted by her eternal commanding tone and lack of basic knowledge in such areas as politics and economics? Are you not disgusted by explaining to her what a default and offshore are...?

Remember from what force majeure pulls you to Swan Lake and to a nightclub, to a beauty contest or to a fitness center, and some even to the library.... To contemplate and enjoy, and communicate easily and naturally, without obligations and reports, and again to contemplate and communicate more closely... But not with her... The mother of your children. And not with him... His mother is a woman...

“Lord, forgive me my sins,” the man groans, “but I can’t do it anymore! I can no longer fulfill my marital duty with this aunt, who was once the most beautiful girl in our class. Why didn’t I then notice the emerging double chin and size fifty-two clothes? How recklessly I covered my ears, not paying attention to her pathological talkativeness and penchant for lying. And where were my eyes looking?

Where to? But what kind of breasts she had... As soon as I caught my eye there, my brain immediately switched off. And the legs... What can I say now, each of her legs will now be the pride of any anatomical museum with its impressive size and degree of cellulity per square centimeter of surface.”

Oh, if only men would speak out loud at least a fraction of the thoughts racing through their brains when they contemplate their matron chewing on the TV or their walking encyclopedia of everyone, withered from anger and exhausting gossip. human knowledge, how many interesting things we could learn about women.

However, if he turned to himself, he might have noticed that he, too, is no longer a boy with curly hair, but is looking more and more like a golf ball, and his belly is no smaller than that of his matron, and his chest is almost the same the same as she had in her youth. And that, taking advantage of her desire to excel and command in everything, he had long forgotten how to solve the most basic everyday issues, that his penchant for libations and deception turned him into an old man with wrinkled red skin, always looking around and doubting his potency.

But will he really look at himself? What are you talking about? And why bother yourself, the great one, with such trifles. He would rather turn his feet into the pleasant thickets of undeveloped territories. And he will go hunting. Just like her.

He will comb three of his hairs, tuck up his belly, fasten his prosthesis, take out a fake wallet, make more noodles for his ears and, having filled his knapsack with a couple of routine vulgarities from the vocabulary of self-sufficient men and independent women, he will follow the untrodden paths behind the Amazons and mustangs of the urban jungle and prairies.

But he will soon understand that his (her) belly and tangled hair, burned by the latest highlighting, are not valued as highly as expected, and the wild aborigines are in no hurry to offer their ears for the intoxicating love noodles that they are abundantly trying to attach to them in place and out of place . And that the thickness of the fake wallet is not enough for those sky-high castles of fantasy that people so relied on. And that there, in the world of living people, everything has somehow changed in an amazing way, and no one wants to buy into cheap theatrical effects anymore. Serve everyone real green cabbage with piquant seasoning, in an elegant plate with a blue border.

He may be offended in response to such injustice and even pout, assuring that modern woman you don’t need anything other than a high-quality vibrator combined with a never-empty wallet. ... And to some extent he will be right...

Exactly in the same way that men expect to have as a wife an eternal, ageless and non-perishable super model of the latest generation with combined abilities for washing, cleaning, serving, satisfaction, intellectual and emotional contact and disappearing when it seems to him that she is getting confused under legs and an eyesore.

Yes, it’s amazing what you can agree on if you start settling scores and presenting each other with a long list of complaints.

It always seems to us that we are not to blame for the failure. family life, and our partner. We so love to blame ourselves on a healthy one. Our habit is this, widespread and endemic. And for some reason it seems to us that as soon as we get rid of the hated husband or wife, a whole regiment of “new” applicants will line up in front of us, with the intellectual abilities of candidates of science and the inclinations of psychologists from God, ready to protect and keep us warm and comfortable and satisfying all our needs. Well, there’s no harm in dreaming! Maybe someone will get lucky.

“Then how do you get rid of your hated spouse?” - you ask. Yes, it’s very simple, you only need to follow four rules of yours for now living together. And it will seem like hell to him, from which he will want to escape as quickly as possible. So.

Rule one:

Never feel grateful, do not say “thank you, please and hello”, on the contrary, use only rude language. Why stand on ceremony. You're not a guest. Actively use argot, jargon and prison slang not only “in anger”, but also in the most ordinary moments of communication. For the brightness of the syllable! In general, forget about all the polite words that your mother taught you, they are of no use in family life. After all, you didn’t come to take an exam based on etiquette, you just live and enjoy life. Just the way you are used to. And the fact that someone else is next to you and does not at all share your love for such a free manner of communication is not your problem, but his problem. Let him roll like a sausage if he doesn't like it...

Rule two:

Give up the stupid habit of washing in the evenings and brushing your teeth , ears, shoes, sent messages folder in your mobile phone, toilet after long “meetings”, toothpaste sink and kitchen boards after cutting herring or other aromatic food. In general, it is better to completely stop monitoring yourself and the surrounding space. For yours appearance, smells emitted by you and your clothes, sounds that may come from you. There is no need to worry about what is going on in the house and what you look like, whether it is pleasant to be with you in the same room, the same bed, at the same table. And if you don’t like it, let them eat anywhere, am I really going to have to adapt to everyone? Think and do this, and the success of a successful divorce is guaranteed to you.

Rule three:

Forget about punctuality and commitment , that is, about the fact that you need to come home on time, sometimes spend time with your family, sit down at the table when you are called for dinner, and not an hour later, wash the dishes after yourself and take out the trash. But most importantly, periodically forget to bring home your salary, congratulate your spouse on his birthday, International Women’s Day and Cosmonautics Day, walk the dog, pick up your child from kindergarten and fulfill your marital duty. Forget to call, buy bread, notify about your plans, take it with you to a party, on vacation, or visit. Forget it more often. Let him not relax; constant tone greatly stimulates his dissatisfaction to grow.

Rule four:

Think exclusively about yourself. Ignore your partner as if he doesn't exist at all, don't ask him for advice. Don't talk to him, because for you he is an empty place. Humiliate his dignity more often, poke his nose at him, quarrel with his relatives, call them names, preferably with the dirtiest words. Never help, don’t try to understand, get into the situation, put yourself in his place. Why? Let him untangle himself. These are his problems. And your task is how possible more shift your problems onto the shoulders of your spouse, so that he doesn’t relax and constantly proves his devotion and love to you with his good behavior. After all, it was created exclusively for you, to make your life worthy and beautiful. So what if he is sick, you now want to be stroked on the tummy, so offer your belly, even if your spouse is in a pre-heart attack state. These are his problems. Why did you need to start a family if you don’t know how to be a worthy spouse? And yet, more metal in the voice. More demanding notes. It helps a lot.

Well, you can come up with a lot more rules. Why? And these will be enough to forever separate you on opposite sides of the barricades and make sworn enemies for the rest of my life. Well, why do you need this, think about it? Where you, inspired boobies, will direct your steps in the hope of a quick victory and finding what you want ideal partner, there are the same people there. Nothing better or worse. They just comb their hair a little differently, and their eye color is different. But by and large, their arms and legs are the same, and the head, imagine, is attached to the neck, and not to another known place. So, think carefully before getting rid of your old, well-known spouse, and going in search of almost the same, but still unknown and already used by someone. And is it worth it for you to suffer and exchange an awl for soap? Isn't it better to turn on yourself and try to change something in yourself?

Irina Vlasenko