Hello! I really need your advice!!!

I married at the age of 18 a young man whom I love very much, but the problem is that he was married and has a child.

In general, everything is fine with us, but our quarrels only happen because of his ex. The problem is that she still loves him but lost him herself!!! We all know that we build our own happiness: she herself told him to “go away” and has been allegedly regretting it for 2 years. She pulls him towards her in every possible way, he loves his daughter very much and does not hide it... She often invites him to visit, etc. But when she found out that he got married, she completely lost control... She writes to him: “I cooked yours favorite dish come, I’ll feed you.” Naturally, he doesn’t go, I also cook very well and try to please him in everything. It’s just that now a situation has arisen: she invited him to her place for his birthday, and he got ready to go. To this I told him: it will be unpleasant for me.

He was simply hysterical and, naturally, we had a fight again. I just don’t know what to do... I’m jealous... He says he loves me, and if he wanted to return to her, he would have done it a long time ago... I’m just afraid, help! Elena.

READERS' RESPONSES But I have a completely opposite situation. Six months ago I asked my husband to decide - a mistress or a family (me and the children), and he chose a mistress. Well, good riddance, I live for my own pleasure, I don’t meddle in their family life, I don’t call, I don’t write, I died like that. But after the New Year they creep into my life, steal my photos, steal something from the house, and I’ll go and buy something better. They call at night and write text messages. And I don't argue with them. The only thing I asked the district police officer to calm them down. So exes are different. Evgenia. Advise your husband to pay off ex-wife. For example, I also suffered a lot and wanted him to return, I called, waited day and night, called, raved about him, said that I would forgive everything, I went crazy. But when, at a meeting, he offered to re-register a large deposit in my name in exchange for freedom, I thought and agreed, giving my word of honor that he would not hear from me again. I’ve kept my word for almost 6 years now. That made my soul feel better. The child and I disappeared from his life. Apparently (and most likely), I was waiting for his return and called back, being in fear of the impending poverty: they say, how will I manage a child without him now alone. They call the departed husband back out of fear - either of poverty or of loneliness. Well, not because of love for the one who exchanged you and his child for another! Although at first it mistakenly seems that way - that you are calling him back to the family because you still love this scoundrel! Ex-wife. The advice is simple - while there are no children together, look for an alternate airfield and fly away. Otherwise, get ready that you won’t be alone with him. Alex. My dear girl. You knew who you were marrying. So stop being jealous. He is a good husband, and he will treat your children together the same way. Take this calmly, and he will not hide anything from you. Trust him. Ira. I have the same situation. My girlfriend is terribly jealous of my ex-wife, with whom we have a child. You need to understand that if the husband took the child home and talked to his wife, then this is not a reason for jealousy. But you went to visit your ex - this is already beyond the bounds, and you need to convey your concerns to your loved one, but calmly, without complaints or hysterics. Conductor.

If you have a pretty and faithful wife with whom you have been together for a long time and live in a warm relationship, but still something is missing and suddenly a desire arises get rid of your wife, then this article has a recipe for this disease. All these tips posted on the website have been tested for more than one year and by many married couples. They are passed on from mouth to mouth, from grandfather to grandson, and if the need arises, they can also be used effectively by you. Just don’t forget that it won’t be possible to get back what you lost, or it will be extremely difficult

1. Never ask your wife about her desires. Become a complete egoist, think only about your needs and feelings, so that your whole family life revolves around your feet.

2. Force your wife to give up work and stay only at home, since there is quite a large work front here, and let her do it. You yourself are constantly late at work, having come up with a stupid excuse and always repeating that a man’s work comes first.

3. Become incredibly jealous. Demand full reports from any trip to the store, study her phone number and arrange a malicious interrogation “Who is Natasha?”

4. In the meantime, while you are leading a promiscuous sex life, you don’t have to hide it from your wife, but, on the contrary, casually talk about yesterday’s exploits, explaining that you are a man and this is absolutely natural for you. Calls from friends can come to landline phone, the wife is obliged to understand and accept all male lusts.

5. In order to get rid of your wife, transform yourself for a while into a greedy man who counts every penny and never gives any gifts for no reason. And it is advisable to completely abandon them altogether, since this is a pointless waste of hard-earned money. You should be motivated by the fact that the insane amount of money spent by a woman on a useless blouse can be usefully spent by you with a group of men in a tavern.

6. Completely limit your wife’s communication, prohibit her from visiting her friends, and completely isolate her from fresh gossip. No meetings with classmates, only quick walks to the kindergarten to pick up the child or to the grocery store.

7. Avoiding compliments will help you get rid of your wife, even if she bought you beer, and don’t confess your love even at gunpoint. But later she may have, and sometimes even more serious problems.

8. Having sex should become monotonous and rare. Don’t study anything about this, just try to bring as much pleasure as possible to your loved one, and let your wife be content with what she has. If one day you find her crying, it’s because she has great happiness that she has you. After ejaculation, immediately turn to the wall and fall asleep snoring, no sentimental conversations. Remember, no unnecessary foreplay, follow the principle: done the job, get off the body.

9. You shouldn’t be too neat and clean; if your dirty socks don’t fit under the sofa, you can throw them on the chandelier. Walk around wrinkled and unshaven; men already have more important things to do.

10. To get rid of your wife, come home as often as possible with a group of drunken drinking buddies. In this case, the wife does not have the right to be at the table, because then there will be no one to serve the banquet.

11. Aggression and rudeness should prevail in your character. A good swear word in front of a child will only brighten up the situation. Express your love on her face in the form of black eyes.

12. Excessive affection will also help you get rid of your wife. When communicating with your wife, use words with diminutive suffixes. Turn yourself into a defenseless child for a while, doing nothing around the house.

They say there are no ex-wives. This is partly true, because once upon a time your man spoke words of love and vows of fidelity to another woman. He slept with her, ate at the same table, made plans. Perhaps he managed to “give birth” to children. In any case, they are connected by a common past that cannot be crossed out, carved out, or erased.

When marrying a man “with history,” just in case, you need to be prepared that his former passion, one way or another, will periodically invade your life with your spouse. By accident or on purpose. The likelihood increases dramatically if she has children with your loved one. And if this happens or has already happened, you will definitely think about how to get your ex-wife away from her husband. This is what this article will discuss.

What does his ex-wife want?

Before deciding on a strategy of behavior, you need to understand what motivates your opponent. Yes, a rival. After all, you perceive her this way if, to put it mildly, you are not satisfied with this state of affairs - her visible or invisible presence in your life? You worry, are jealous, get irritated when she calls him on his mobile, asks for something, offers to go out with the children, etc.

Situations are different, and each of them requires its own solution:

• she dreams of returning him. This happens - I got divorced, went for a walk, realized that I had made a mistake and wanted to correct it, revive my marriage. In this case, there is only one advice - complete ignorance on the part of the spouse. And with yours too. No exhortations, scandals or persuasions to leave you alone. The contact will continue as long as you and/or your man respond. Even negative. If you don't add wood to the fire, it will die out over time. It's the same here;
• she has to communicate with your husband because of their common child. There's nothing to be done about it. Children are sacred and there is no need to prevent them from communicating with their father (imagine yourself in the place of these children or a single woman with children). Moreover, by insisting on breaking the parent-child relationship, you risk ruining your relationship with your spouse. If he is an honest, fair person, a loving and caring father, he will never abandon his offspring. And if he leaves, then think about the fact that he can do the same to you and your children. IN in this case To calm yourself down, you can do the following: take the initiative and invite his children to visit you, go to meetings with them together with your husband. So you broadcast it ex-family“I am, I am always there, I am also a part of your life”;
• you took your spouse away from the family, and now your ex-wife does not allow you to live in peace. In this version, she may be driven by the pain of betrayal, rejected feelings, and she simply wants to rehabilitate her injured pride - to return her husband and wipe your nose. Here the solution is the same as in the first case - complete ignore. And iron patience;
• the last option is the most difficult. This is when the ex-wife still loves your spouse and has a child (children) with him. The situation is stalemate - children cannot be deprived of their father, and it is terrible to lose a husband.

Particularly arrogant and unprincipled women begin to manipulate their father's feelings - to dictate their terms, threatening to deprive them of communication with their children. Here it is important for the former father of the family to demonstrate a firm position and not be fooled by provocations and ultimatums. IN best case scenario, the ex will get tired of fighting and allow you to see your offspring, without demanding anything in return. In the worst case, your spouse will not see the children, you will have to wait until they grow up and resume communication themselves.

Conversation with your spouse

You cannot remain silent about your feelings. Your tension will definitely affect the family atmosphere. Be sure to talk to your spouse about this:

1. Share your feelings about the current situation. Be honest about your concerns and concerns. That you don’t like his communication with his ex. And if they are not connected by offspring, then it makes sense to demand that the husband stop this contact. No children mutual obligations too – why maintain this connection? Adequate, loving man will make a choice in your favor.
2. Discuss a plan that will help you get rid of your ex's unwanted intrusions. For example, agree that your husband will not answer her calls after 21.00. He won’t run to her aid every time she asks, and won’t solve her personal problems. Clearly specify the schedule according to which the spouse will meet with the children, how much alimony to pay, etc.
3. If there are heirs left in that family, then agree with your husband to act together: you need to take a walk with the children - you walk together, help your ex-wife repair the furniture - you go to her together, take it, bring it, buy it, give it - you do everything together. If your ex has any plans for your partner, she will soon give up any attempts to seduce him due to the lack of such an opportunity.

How to talk to your ex

It was already stated above that the best way out of a situation where your ex haunts you is to ignore her. But in order not to leave her in the dark, alone with her fantasies, it’s worth talking to her once to dot the i’s. Who should do this and how:

1. Ideally, this problem should be solved by the husband. After all, he created her (his wife), and it’s up to him to “sort out.” It is necessary to clearly explain your position to your ex-wife, leaving no chance for family reunification. Sometimes men are afraid of offending or hurting a woman and make ambiguous messages - they don’t say yes or no. They don’t understand that by feeling sorry for the ex (and if she is also the mother of his children!), they are thus giving her hope. And then they wonder why she is trying so hard to get into a new life.
2. You can talk to her yourself. Calmly. No aggression. No matter how she behaves, remember that in any case she is driven by painful feelings. Calmly explain that now you have your own life and there is no place for strangers in it.
3. Seek help from relatives. For example, to my husband's parents. If they stayed with their ex-daughter-in-law in good relations, then perhaps they will be able to convey to her the essence of the situation.

When your ex behaves inappropriately - she makes threats, writes offensive text messages, punctures the tires on her car, you should file a complaint with the police. In this case, there is no need to sort things out on your own, since such an attempt will only provoke the aggressor and provoke new attacks on her part. It is also quite dangerous: no one knows what is on her mind and how it all might end.

If you and your husband go to events where you often meet his ex, be sure to show her how good you are together. Even if at this moment you are quarreling, you are not in the mood or you got up on the wrong foot. If you have a plan, then it's worth sticking to it, no matter what. She must see that you are immensely happy, and therefore she has no chance.

How to stop being jealous

Probably every woman, finding herself in such a situation, will be tormented by feelings of jealousy. A rich female fantasy gives birth to scary pictures in the head - the husband will not withstand the onslaught of love, will reciprocate and return to his former family. You will be left alone and die of grief, surrounded by 40 cats. As a result, every day with your suspicions you drive your loved one to a nervous tic, you check his phone, call him at work 20 times a day to check his whereabouts... The atmosphere becomes tense, unbearable for both of you.

It is important to understand that such behavior does not help you, but only makes the situation worse. A man may be so tired of your paranoia and excessive control that he himself will want to leave - anywhere, as long as he is not “nagged.” Therefore, if you are aware that your jealousy has reached prohibitive proportions, you need to take action. What psychologists advise:

1. We exhale, put aside our emotions and look at the situation with the eyes of an observer. What's really going on? How does your spouse behave towards your ex? How does he feel about you? If he is next to you now, probably because he wants it? You’re not blackmailing him, you’re not threatening him with violence, you’re not keeping him on a chain?
2. Talk to your husband, but only once. Ask him about his feelings for his ex. Is there any chance that he can come back? Is he attracted to her as a woman? How does he feel looking at this whole situation?
3. Talk to your husband's ex-wife. Ask carefully about your personal life and plans. It is possible that all your fears are the fruits of a wild imagination. Maybe that woman has been in love for a long time, happy, and you are only imagining her insidious intent.
4. It might be worth asking for advice on a forum whose topic is the same situation. It is not unique; many have experienced this. “Experienced” wives will give a lot of useful information.
5. Go to a psychologist and sort out your feelings - separate fact from fiction. Find internal resources that will help you not perceive the current situation so painfully.

Remember that happiness is in your hands. You shouldn’t leave things to chance and expect the problem to resolve itself. On the other hand, do not catastrophize what is happening and be patient.

Useful video:

Cheating is a popular topic among men and women. They usually say that, because of which women are looking for various ways to return them to their families. However, women can also become objects who will have to be taken away from their lovers and returned to their families.

Family life always begins with a storm of feelings and a great desire to always be only together. However, fairy-tale ideas about love are destroyed by everyday life, life problems and simply time, which over the years erases all passionate and ardent feelings. Over time, the spouses begin to get bored, their feelings subside, and even think that their life has lost any joy. However, if a man and a woman still have some common affairs, goals, children and other responsibilities, then they can save the family.

Men go for walks to the left for the same reasons as women. Monotony and dullness family life force them to look for “adventures” on the side. And here it is important to start considering the problem that has arisen with whether it is necessary to return the cheater back to the family in order to save it.

If a man finds out about his wife’s infidelity, this will certainly hit his pride. If some husbands break up with their wives without words or unnecessary ranting, then other representatives of the stronger sex may take the path of preserving their families. Any decision is correct if it corresponds to the desires of the person who made it. If you have decided to return your wife to the family, then you are clearly wondering how to do this while getting rid of your lover and no longer worrying about him.

This topic is controversial. To understand the correctness of a decision, you need to consider it from different angles.

How many people, so many decisions

It is impossible to say that any decision is correct. All people live by their own standards and values. If some instantly divorce those women who cheated on them, then others will still think and doubt their decision. How many people there are, so many ways to solve one single problem, when wives take lovers.

First you need to understand the reasons for the appearance of this lover. At the beginning of your married life, your wife hardly planned to take a lover. However, over the years, she not only came to this idea, but also allowed it to be realized. What prompted the woman to cheat? Here, a man often needs to pay attention to his own behavior. Often, husbands themselves become the reasons why their wives start going out.

No, we in no way start blaming men for everything. If a woman cheated, then first of all she is to blame for finding a lover and going to bed with him. However, the guilt of the husband should not be excluded, since often the wife first tries to solve the problem with him, begs him, asks for something, but he seems to remain deaf to her and continues to do as is convenient for him.

If a woman does not receive something from her husband, then she allows herself to receive it from her lover.

If a wife is simply taking revenge on her husband, who is also cheating on her, then the answer is obvious: stop cheating yourself, and then the wife may also stop doing unacceptable things.

What connects a wife with her lover:

1. If she is in love, then the situation becomes more complicated. Take away loving woman from her man it is very difficult. She does not break off the marriage for any personal reasons, however, she also does not intend to leave her lover. Here the only possible option is that the woman is mistaken in her ideas about her lover, who seems ideal to her, or in the feelings that she perceives as love.
2. If a woman simply satisfies some of her desires without feelings, then solving the problem will be very easy. Most likely, the woman is simply not receiving something from her husband. If he starts giving it to her, then she will no longer have the need to walk to the left.

There are many ways to keep a woman who has forgotten the value of her family. Let's look at some of them.

Method 1: Do nothing

The simplest and easy way, which is resorted to by men who do not believe in themselves and are unable to do anything - do nothing. It’s easier for them to simply hope that their wives themselves will one day get tired of their trips to the left and return to their families.

Although this method does not require any effort from a man, it puts a lot of pressure on the psyche. A man will constantly think about his wife’s infidelities, smile in her eyes, realizing that she just kissed someone else. It is unbearable to wait without being sure that the method will work.

And indeed: if the husband does nothing, even knowing about his wife’s infidelities, this may irritate her so much that she will divorce him. “How is it that a man is not angry, does not show aggression either at me or at his lover?” - a woman will not be able to understand the behavior of a man who knows and does nothing. She will perceive this as weakness, which will push her to divorce her husband.

Method 2: Give your beloved what your lover gives her

This method is considered very popular today. As they say, if a wife leaves for her lover, then the husband must become a lover for his wife. Moreover, he must give her the same thing that his lover gives.

A woman would not go to her lover if she did not need those actions and qualities that he displays. The husband is asked to understand what his wife gets from her lover, which is why she agreed to cheat on him. After which he himself must begin to give his wife what her lover gives her. We can talk about anything here:

1. About the numerous gifts that my husband stopped giving over the years.
2. About passionate sex, which may no longer happen between spouses.
3. About strong qualities when a man “fluffs his tail” and promises a woman stars from the sky and mountains of money.
4. About noble deeds when a man opens doors for a woman or pulls out a chair for her.

You should find out what exactly the wife receives from her lover, what will speak about her needs, which she needs and, most likely, has not received from her husband for a long time.

If you cannot understand what a lover is doing that makes his wife go to him, then you can use the following tips:

• Rekindle the romance in your relationship. Start giving your wife flowers and other gifts. Spend time with her more often, and start inviting her to restaurants and taking her to various beautiful places. Resume passionate sex that will bring pleasure not only to you, but also to your wife.
• Throw a scandal at your wife. Moreover, do this not to sort things out or get a divorce, but to show your emotions and feelings. It's also good if the scandal ends with sex. This method is suitable if you are a quiet and flexible man.
• Eliminate everyday life. Don’t forget that family is not only about household chores, raising children and never-ending work. Remove what brings boredom to your relationship. Start traveling more often, going to various places, get involved, learn, that is, make your life varied.
• Take care of your wife. Start looking after her, surprising her with something, making her happy more often. Remember what you did when you first won the heart of your beloved to understand how to proceed next.

The wife may start dating a lover who provides her financially. Women all want to live beautifully, visit expensive establishments and show off all their attractiveness in luxurious dresses. If you can improve your financial position, which is important for any woman, then she will definitely leave her lover so as not to lose you.

Method 3: Do it the other way around

If the previous tips are not effective in your case, and you already pay a lot of attention to your wife, try for her sake, please all her whims and do other pleasant things, then you definitely need to do the opposite. The wife found a lover from the “terribly sugary” good life. And if she somehow has the wrong attitude towards her husband’s good deeds, then she will definitely look for a lover who is far from ideal.

Here the husband can start doing something that is the opposite of his usual behavior:

1. Start living your life. Moreover, you need to make her interesting, so that your wife sees that you do not suffer for her, are not tormented, but are captivated by some things and even women.
2. Don't be interested in your wife's life, especially if you have done so before. If she doesn't need it, then don't give her any attention. If you used to be caring and look after your wife, then stop doing it.
3. Stop sleeping with your wife. If she is already having sex with another man, then you will give up relations with your wife. Just say that you are already fine without sex.
4. Do not try to meet with your lover or threaten him in any way. Ignore its presence altogether. Over time, his wife will leave him on her own.

Psychologists say that in an efficient way return of the wife will be behavior, the opposite of that which was committed by the husband earlier. If the husband has been cold and uncaring, then he needs to start courting his wife. If the husband was caring and loving, then you need to completely cool off towards your wife. The opposite behavior begins to arouse interest in the wife, who is not used to her husband behaving this way.

How to finally get your wife back?

Someone may ask: “Why bring back your wandering wife?” And such people will also be right. If you don’t see the point in returning the one who is already cheating on you, then you have the right to part with her without tears or conversations.

However, if you want to get your wife back, you should remember that in some situations this will be impossible. If a man sheds tears, does nothing, begs to return, then the wife will definitely want to leave for her lover. Also, a similar decision can be made if the wife has fallen in love with her lover. However, if the wife still clings to her husband, then he may put himself in such a way that the wife begins to fear losing him. Make her afraid of losing you, and then she will definitely leave her lover!

Some interesting statistics. The vast majority of readers of this site are women... When I first noticed this, I was slightly surprised, but then I thought that, however, there was nothing to be surprised about.

Indeed, women are more likely to seek solutions to their problems, discuss them and ask for advice. Men, on the other hand, are more often inclined to hush up their problems, because a man is strong and resilient and will sort out his problems himself, right?

Based on these statistics, I am increasingly beginning to write articles aimed specifically at a female audience. But resentment is a universal thing, and therefore it is impossible not to affect men’s feelings. Just because men don't like to talk about their problems openly doesn't mean that women experience resentment on average more often than men. In addition, the resentment experienced by men can often be stronger due to the fact that they do not often give vent to it.

In what relationships does a man experience resentment? Of course, in loved ones. And naturally, one of such relationships is marriage. It often happens that a young man falls madly in love and, against the backdrop of sweet expectations of a happy future together, proposes to the woman. And of course, if the feelings are mutual, at first the relationship is truly a fairy tale.

But after a few years, the man suddenly begins to realize that the fairy tale he painted for himself in his imagination does not correspond to reality at all. And the reason for this is a lack of awareness, a lack of understanding of how women really work, and a lack of knowledge of what to expect from them. But instead of understanding the situation, he would prefer to withdraw into himself and endure, endure, endure. Until sooner or later a threshold is crossed and a quarrel occurs, varying in strength from moderate to catastrophic.

I note that we're talking about O monogamous relationships. That is, the husband and wife are expected to sleep only with each other until the very end, that is, until death or divorce separates them. And no one cheats on anyone, has never cheated and will never cheat. It’s immediately clear that the initial premises are not the most realistic, but we’ll talk about resentment in open and “closed” relationships another time. In the meantime, here's how a wife can traumatize her husband without realizing it.

How a wife traumatizes her husband in 6 different ways

1. Refusal of sex. This is in first place for a reason, since it is almost the most the right way ruin a man's married life. Dear women, every time you deny sex to your regular sexual partner, it is a painful blow.

You see what’s the matter... Let’s talk openly. Men are lustful animals. They always need sex. Whether married or not. Even if he is 20 years old, even if he is 50. Rich or poor, ugly or handsome, a young sexy male fucker-bachelor or a modest middle-aged fat man-loser-married. In sadness or joy, in grief or resentment, men always want sex.

Of course, the frequency of the question varies from man to man. Everyone's libido is different - some people want sex 5 times a week, for others, once will be enough. This doesn't change the essence. The bottom line is that regardless of his character, he expects that because he is with a woman and he has a relationship with her, this automatically implies regular sex with her Always.

Yes, yes, I know what you might say. “It is not my responsibility to satisfy him.” “I’m not a prostitute for him, I’m the wife and mother of his children,” “Sex is not the most important thing.” But here's the thing - if you marry him, if you want a happy relationship, and your relationship is monogamous, I have news for you. It is your responsibility to fuck your husband. And for your husband, sex is very important, even if it is not the most important thing in a marital relationship. Why is this so important to him? Because he is not only a caring father and a faithful husband, but also a lustful animal, as I mentioned above.

Does this mean that I blame or reproach women? No way! . Therefore, you should go through the husbands.

Husbands, come to your senses! Did you really expect that the honeymoon you had at sea, when you fucked your newly minted wife several times a day, was the norm? Or is the first year of your relationship the way it will always be? I have news for you - women are biologically designed in such a way that they get tired of the same man in a long-term monogamous relationship over time.

Do you know why? Because the genetic code that people carry within themselves has not changed for millions of years. And this code programmed women to search for a suitable male who would provide them with offspring and protect these offspring (amusingly, these two roles can be performed separately by two different men). How long does it need to be protected before it gets back on its feet and can escape? 20 years? 15 years? 10 years? No, less years than the fingers on one hand.

Therefore, from a biological point of view, a woman is “not interested” in sleeping with you for 20 years the way she was in the early years of your marriage. Because if you have been living together for a long time, then from a biological, sexual, animal point of view, you are no longer perceived by a woman as the man with whom she sleeps. At least not as much as it was before. Now you are more like a relative to her, and biology does not allow you to sleep with relatives.

What about emotions? We are not animals, we are people, and not everything is controlled by biology. Yes, that’s true, not everything is decided by biology. But emotions are exactly the same biology, and they serve to ensure that you carry out your biological program. Your male biology has programmed you to have sex throughout your life. The point is not that we have more than just biology. The bottom line is that the biology of men and women when it comes to the sexual component of relationships is completely different. From sex she needs to get offspring from a quality male. And you, men, need sex to spread your biological material throughout planet Earth. And no amount of social dressing from above will be able to drown out this fundamental difference between male and female biology, no matter how society denies it, trying to equalize men and women or reduce the importance of biology to nothing.

What does all this mean in terms of the subject matter of this site? After all, the site is not dedicated to evolutionary psychology, but to resentment. And this means the same thing as always. on his wife, man. If you don’t like that the frequency of sex is decreasing, write it down on paper. And then, when you clear out the resentment and see the situation as it is, you can decide what to do. And perhaps you will understand that from now on you can no longer count on the same woman to be the source of your male joy and satisfaction throughout your life. But more on that another time...

2. Permanent commands. We are talking here about women with a more dominant character. Such women consider themselves “strong and independent,” and in practice this is expressed in attempts to constantly control the situation. If the situation does not correspond to the scenario of events, directives are issued to correct the vector. Such women have a vector for everything, including their husband. So it falls to him, the poor fellow.

Here again, men, wake up! A woman commands you only because you allow her. Yes, there are men who like to submit to a woman, but this is not about them. They do not feel offended by this type of communication with a woman. Therefore, if you are reading these lines, most likely you are not one of them. Clean your brains, remove all your fears and limiting beliefs that make you unable to resist a woman. And then it will be clear what to do.

3. Attempts to change it. Women get married expecting a man to change over time. Men get married hoping the woman will never change. Please, here's Venus and Mars, that's all. A man gets married, hoping that everything will be as it was at the very beginning. Stable relationships are those that do not change.

Give a man a beautiful, smart, cool woman with big breasts and/or a firm ass + a set of all the qualities he likes, and he will be happy. As long as it never changes, it always remains as it is.

But this is only from a male point of view. From a female point of view, stable relationships are those that have development. Women are more dynamic creatures than men.

Women, especially those with a dominant character, expect that a man will adapt to new circumstances and, as a result, change if necessary.

Amendment - change if necessary to her. Personally, he may have no intention of changing, because why? And so everything is fine. But the fact that his wife constantly criticizes him and hints that he shouldn’t do this, or that he needs to do better, over time begins to settle in him in the form of resentment.

4. Excessive use of phrases “You always...”, “You never...”, etc. Oh, women love it. “You never help my mom.” “You always leave the toilet seat up.” Well, are you really ready to swear that he Always is doing something there or never Is there something it doesn't do? You don't have to answer, I already know the answer.

Again, the trick is the difference between the communication styles of men and women. The fact is that for men and women these words mean different things. For a man, the words “always” and “never” are defined by their lexical meanings which can be viewed in explanatory dictionary. For a woman, these words are subordinated to the expression of the emotions that she experiences at one time or another. And if the emotions are strong enough, they bypass the linguistic filters in a woman’s head, and are ultimately displayed as the words “always” and “never.”

Men, don’t attach any importance to this - just get used to the fact that women work this way - there will be less resentment. Don’t cling to the words, you are taking them out of context - the context of her emotional state here and now. And the resentment that you have already accumulated - what do we do with it? We are working on it, of course. Without pity.

5. Making him responsible for his emotional well-being. A caveat should be made that not only women do this, everyone does this. And men, and old people, and children. And in relation to everything around. It’s not me who bears the grudge, it’s you who offended me. It’s not me who is a fool and a lazy person, it’s the state that is bad and steals. And the like.

But still, if we compare men and women in marital relationships, women more often behave with men in such a way that it is the husband’s fault that she is feeling bad at heart. There is an interesting apparent contradiction. On the one hand, women are more emotional, but on the other hand, they are less likely to realize what causes their emotions. And as a result, they do not realize that when they blame their husband for their emotions, nothing changes. He doesn't understand what he can do with you. Except to apologize for nothing automatically so that you calm down.

But men, again, the responsibility for the offense is on you. You, too, do not shine with awareness if you suffer from such situations. After all, what happened was that your wife directed her bad mood at you, and you already formed a feeling of guilt in yourself. Then you take responsibility for her bad mood and begin to accumulate resentment, slowly hating yourself more and more along the way. No problem, work it out.

6. Indifference to his efforts. Do you want to hurt your husband? Stop appreciating what he regularly does for you and your children.

A single man does not need so much money to maintain his existence at the same level. This means that a lot of his motivation to work harder is you and perhaps your children. Unfortunately, this is often not realized or forgotten over time.

A single man does not need to help your mother, fool himself by communicating with your relatives, or be faithful for decades. Unfortunately, this is often not realized or forgotten over time.

I by no means mean that men in marital relationships make greater efforts to maintain them than women. Not at all. Forgetfulness towards each other is a universal human flaw that affects both men and women. Fortunately, it is possible to fight it - after all, the elaborations were invented for a reason.

Work it out, husbands and wives!

What is the conclusion from all this? There are two of them. The first is mutual understanding between men and women and a conscious attitude towards how differently women and men perceive reality and communicate - this is the key to harmonious relationships. Second, if you have a grudge against your marriage partner, work through it! At the same time, in the process of clearing your brain, you will acquire the necessary transparency of awareness so that you will not have such problems in the future, regardless of your gender or marital status.